Page 318 of Blade of the Nightking

I knew that ache.

I knew it because I felt it too.

Felt it every time I looked at him.

And he was looking at me now, pale and shaken, as though the Gate had stripped away every defense he possessed. For the first time, there was nothing between us. Nothing to hide what he’d never wanted me to feel.

The shadows fell away, settling into slow, languid circles around our feet, waiting.

“It was you,” I breathed.

He didn't answer. He only stared at me, his hand trembling violently where it clasped mine.

All those times I’d thought I was feeling Aedric’s emotions… First in Dheren. Then, stronger still, in Noctharis...

“Can…” I was almost afraid to ask, terrified of hearing what I already knew. “Can you feel me?”

He closed his eyes, as though he couldn't bear to face this moment.

“Yes.”

The single word hit like a blow.

“How long?” My voice broke. “How long have you been able to sense my emotions?”

I saw the truth plainly on his face.

“You shielded,” I whispered. He lowered his eyes. “Why? Why would you lock me out?”

In the distance, Saskia’s warning call rang out again, but Rìan didn’t seem to hear it. He stood frozen, breathing hard, every muscle taut as though bracing for battle.

“Please, Rìan.”

He gritted his teeth, fighting to maintain the perfect control he always had, but there was no barrier left to hide behind. I felt every ounce of his turmoil. Every shred of his agony.

“Truth.”

The word tore through the last of his restraint.

“What good is the truth?” His eyes flashed. “What would it change to know that, yes—I’ve felt your heart from the very beginning?”

His grip on my hand was bruising.

“Would it change anything to know that when Thalassis hurt you, I felt it and came running? That when the guard laid his hands on you, I couldn’t let him live? That when those men from the tavern hunted you through the streets like prey, it took everything I had not to kill them all?

“Would it change anything to know what it did to me to feel how broken you were when you first came to Noctharis? To feel your suffering while you were caged in Solmire? Your guilt after it burned? Your desperate need to drown it all beneath another drink?

“Every time Aedric touched you, I felt your pleasure. Your desire. And every time, I wanted to cave in his fucking skull for daring to touch you after everything he’d done! Is that the truth you wanted to hear?”

His breathing roughened, color rising beneath his skin.

“Every ounce of your hatred for me. Your disgust. Your sense of betrayal. I carried all of it. And I hated you for it as fiercely as you hated me. More, maybe, because I could never escape it. Every ounce of your loathing was mine to bear until this fucking bond was broken!”

A vein pulsed in his temple as the words poured from him, his emotions crashing through our bond.

“Would it change anything to know that I couldn't bear the shame I'd put inside you that day in the library? That after I mocked you for being unable to read, I sent Levinica to teach you? That I sensed your pride every time you learned another word... every little triumph... felt your confidence return piece by piece, and treasured it as though it were my own?”

My jaw slackened. Levinica.