Page 89 of Blade of the Nightking

He knew I was there.

I waited—for the door to open, for him to step out, for something violent and terrible to happen to me. Part of me almost welcomed it. But nothing came.

The doors stayed firmly closed, the silvery magic gliding across its surface.

If I could have torn the bond out of myself, I would have. Burned it out. Cut it free. Anything to be rid of it. But there was nothing I could do. Nothing but wait for him to summon me—and when he did, help him unravel Levinica's mysterious words.

Three gates sealed…

A riddle. It was a riddle.

The impossibility of it bore down on me all at once. I pushed away from the door, despair lancing through me all over again. I had no idea how to interpret the mystery of Levinica's vision, how to break the bond, or how to free Aedric's mind from whatever magic held it captive. Worse—I couldn't even remember the words Levinica had spoken.. How was I supposed to solve a riddle I couldn't even recall?

And even if I could... I knew next to nothing about this world. I'd never even seen a proper map. How was I supposed to find these gates?

I staggered back to my room, all the resolution I’d clung to—the courage, the drive—bleeding out of me with every step. How stupid I was. How utterly, painfully… human.

You know nothing of Elantis. Aedric's words, from what felt like a lifetime ago, drifted back to me as though carried on the wind from the ashes of Solmire.

All I knew how to do was fail. I wanted to disappear. I didn't want to feel anything anymore.

Thankfully, the next bottle was already waiting for me, uncorked and ready to numb what little was left.

Another day passed in much the same way.

To keep from unraveling entirely, I tried to summon what little resolve remained. Some thread of defiance. My magic was limitless—that was what Aedric had insisted, over and over.

What if there was another way? What if my magic could somehow break the bond on its own—an alternative to Levinica’s vision?

I sat on the edge of the bed and reached inward, searching for it.

Nothing. It didn’t stir. It didn’t shift. It didn’t so much as whisper from the void where it lived inside me.

It was as though it had gone to sleep. Or perhaps it had turned its back on me, angry for what I’d done, for the harm I’d caused its mate. I spent hours trying to coax it back, trying to drag it up from wherever it had sunk, but it refused to answer.

Frustration rose hot inside me. I pressed the heels of my hands hard against my eyes until they hurt, swallowing against the sudden, terrible urge to scream.

What use was limitless power if I couldn’t reach it when it mattered? What good was I, if I couldn’t even save him?

Gritting my teeth so hard I thought my jaw might crack, tears stinging my eyes, I finally gave up. And went in search of another bottle of wine.

When that bottle ran low, I found another. And when silence settled too heavily around me, I drank enough not to hear it quite so loudly.

By the third day, as the sun began to sink behind a dull, gray sky, I found myself outside. I was thoroughly drunk by then, wandering without direction until I reached the terrace Aedric had led me across, then down the steps to the narrow stretch of beach below. The tide moved strangely here, not crashing so much as creeping forward in long, slow swells before slipping back again, as though the sea were breathing.

I kicked off my shoes and walked to the edge of the water. Crabs scuttled between salt-bleached rocks, the sand cool and soft beneath my feet. When the water reached me, climbing the shore to brush against my toes before retreating again, I followed it without thinking.

The cold was immediate, biting deep enough to steal the breath from my lungs. The briny air filled my chest as gulls wheeled overhead, their cries carrying across the open water. The ground dropped away quickly beneath the surface, the shallows giving way to darker depths not far from shore. In the distance beyond the bay, the faint shape of the mainland hovered on the horizon, hazy but unmistakable.

It wasn’t that far, I thought. Not really. Maybe I could swim it.

The water here was calmer, less broken by waves. Maybe…

I took another step. The current tugged at my calves, threatening to sweep my feet out from beneath me.

“I wouldn't do that if I were you.”

The voice startled me enough that I pitched forward, but a hand caught my arm before I could fall. Segolayne stood behind me, looking thoroughly unimpressed. The fitted tunic that had replaced her handmaid's robes was simple in cut but finely made, its deep mauve fabric traced with delicate gold stitching. Her trousers were soaked to the knee from wading in after me.