Page 58 of An Unlikely Debutante

Not wanting to acknowledge the truth behind his words, Lina kept her eyes fixed firmly on her knees.

‘Did you know I was in love with Georgina for two years before she even knew who I was?’

This made Lina look up. The relationship Georgina and her husband shared was so strong, so close, she had always imagined it had been built on a solid mutual affection.

‘Our paths crossed at various social functions, but I was not considered a suitable suitor so Georgina barely noticed me. She had lots of men clamouring for her attention and I got lost in the melee.’

‘So how did you get her to notice you?’

‘One night I was a little in my cups so my confidence was improved and I asked her to dance at a ball. Instead of making inane small talk about the weather and the dancing, I talked to her like the intelligent woman she is.’

‘I can see that would work with Georgina.’

‘She still doesn’t know I was in love with her for years before she even noticed me.’ Pentworthy paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. ‘So I know what it is like to fall in love with someone who seems unattainable.’

‘I’m not in love with Alex,’ Lina said quietly. It seemed the right thing to do, to protest against this absurd idea.

Pentworthy shrugged. This was one of the things Lina liked about Georgina’s husband; despite being a successful and driven man, he wasn’t pushy.

‘It’s been more wonderful and more difficult than I first imagined, living this life for the past few weeks. I wanted new experiences, to do something other than live my same old humdrum life, at least for a little while, but I didn’t think I would find the idea of going back so difficult.’

‘You’ll miss Whitemore. And the lifestyle.’

‘Perhaps it’s just the lifestyle I’ve fallen in love with. I thought I hated the ways of the upper classes, but who wouldn’t be swept away by the beautiful houses, the exquisite dresses and a life of leisure?’

For a moment Lina considered whether this was true. She had enjoyed the time she’d spent at Whitemore house—perhaps the deeper feelings she thought she had for Alex were in fact simply a manifestation of her desire not to return to her old lifestyle.

‘I suppose you need to ask yourself if you would enjoy the balls and the outings and all the trappings of upper-class life without Whitemore there by your side to guide you through.’

Of course she wouldn’t. It was Alex’s dry observations, Alex’s gentle teachings, Alex’s reassuring presence by her side that made the whole experience enjoyable.

‘What does it matter anyway? In two weeks, I will be back with my family and this little interlude will seem like nothing more than a surreal dream.’

‘Perhaps.’

What did it matter if she was falling for Alex? He had made it quite clear that he desired her, that he wanted her in his bed, but never had he hinted at deeper feelings. She knew he cared for her, but for them to have any kind of a future together it would have to be love. There were too many differences and obstacles to overcome, only very strong feelings would be enough motivation. Alex liked her, he desired her, but he did not love her. Lina wasn’t sure if he would ever let himself love again after his experience with Victoria and he certainly wouldn’t consider opening his heart to someone as unsuitable as her.

‘Only you can know what is in your heart,’ Pentworthy said, patting her on the hand. He shrugged as if this were all a simple matter to contemplate, not something rife with important implications. ‘If it’s merely the lifestyle you enjoy, then you will return to your old life and slowly things will get back to normal. If you are in love with Whitemore, then you need to decide what you will do about it.’

‘There is nothing I can do.’

‘There is always something you can do,’ Pentworthy replied softly.

* * *

‘I’m very sorry for my behaviour,’ Alex said sheepishly, aware that Lina’s red eyes hinted at the possibility she’d been crying.

Pentworthy had sought him out a few minutes earlier and informed him where he could find Lina. Alex had headed straight over here, although as he’d walked the last few feet he wished he had taken a few moments to consider what he was going to say. Thankfully Lina didn’t seem to want to talk about the argument with Georgina or his outburst, offering him a tight smile and the opportunity to move on.

‘I think the first race is about to start,’ she said, leading Alex through the crowd to get a better view.

As they approached the rail that separated the racetrack from the spectators, the horses were just being positioned in their starting stalls. Alex felt the familiar thrill of anticipation he experienced every time one of his horses raced, but today it was dampened a little by a definite feeling of guilt over how he had upset Lina. Looking back, he probably shouldn’t have leaned in for a kiss, albeit a friendly peck on the cheek rather than a full kiss on the lips. It wasn’t how a gentleman behaved in public, even towards a woman he was trying to persuade to become his mistress.

‘Dawnbreaker is in stall number three.’ Alex pointed towards the magnificent animals and their riders all lined up in a row.

‘Does it make a difference what position they start in?’

‘A little. The farther away from the inside rail the horse is, the bigger the distance it has to run, which is why the riders will try to get to a position as close to the inside rail as possible once the race has started.’