Page 66 of An Unlikely Debutante

‘Just relax,’ Alex said, his voice a little hoarser than usual. Lina felt anything but relaxed. A strange heat was building just below her abdomen and spreading through her body. She had to physically suppress the urge to wriggle and writhe against Alex, subconsciously wanting more skin-to-skin contact, more sublime sensations as Alex’s fingers grazed her arm.

She could feel his manhood, hard and solid against her buttocks, and knew this was just as difficult for him as it was her.

Desperately she searched for some distraction, anything to quell this building sensation of inevitability between them.

‘You thought Victoria was the woman you were destined to spend your life with,’ Lina blurted—and regretted it immediately.

* * *

Alex stiffened. With Lina’s body pressed up against his, every curve, every inch of exposed skin teasing and tantalising, he was finding it difficult to concentrate on anything except maintaining control of himself, but Lina’s words registered after a few seconds.

‘Victoria?’ he asked, unsure where the topic had come from.

‘Earlier this afternoon when you were arguing with your sister, you said Victoria was the woman you’d been destined to spend your life with, or something along those lines.’

The argument was still fresh in his mind. Georgina couldn’t help but meddle in affairs that didn’t concern her, but this time he had to admit she had been right. It had been careless and wrong to kiss Lina in public, even just a little peck on the cheek. Throughout his life he’d been taught to adhere to the rules of society. Some men didn’t see a problem with parading their mistresses in public, snatching a kiss in the shadows of the opera house or letting a hand stray somewhere it shouldn’t whilst dancing a waltz. Alex wasn’t that kind of man—or at least he hadn’t thought he was. Kissing Lina on the cheek hadn’t been a conscious decision, it had just happened, and Alex knew he’d been as powerless to stop it as he had the storm raging overhead.

‘I’m not sure—’ he began.

‘Don’t try to deny you said the words.’

Alex sighed, Lina seemed to have rallied a little, recovered some of her normal tenacious nature.

‘You might tell the world you’re over Victoria, but you’re not.’

He started to speak, but Lina rushed on.

‘It is perfectly natural to still care about someone even if they hurt you. I think it is just a shame you won’t admit to yourself that your affection for Victoria and the heartbreak you suffered is holding you back from moving on in matters of the heart.’

‘I don’t love Victoria,’ Alex said firmly. Lina remained silent and he considered the words he’d just uttered. Even when being completely honest with himself he believed he was speaking the truth. ‘I think it is hard to move on, to stop caring about someone when they’ve spent a long time in your heart. No matter how much someone hurts you it is difficult to forget all the good times, all the happiness.’

‘I’m sorry it worked out this way,’ Lina said quietly.

‘I’m not. If Victoria could hurt me as she did, then it is a blessing she left my life before she could do any more damage.’

‘Do you truly believe that?’

‘Yes.’

Alex remembered the empty feeling he’d had when he’d first encountered Victoria in the dressmakers after three years apart. Perhaps if he was honest with himself, he hadn’t felt as little as he admitted. Certainly he’d felt empty and emotionless, but that in itself was significant—it was his mind’s way of protecting him from further heartbreak.

‘Did you believe you were destined to spend your lives together?’

‘I was very young...’ Alex started.

‘It was three years ago, not fifteen.’

‘I was naive. Victoria was the first woman I’d ever loved and I suppose I assumed she felt the same about me.’

Lina shifted against him, her body starting to warm as they shared their heat, her buttocks pressed up against him in a way that made it difficult for him to concentrate.

‘And because she hurt you, you’ve decided never to risk opening your heart to love again.’

‘You’re starting to sound like my sister.’

‘I want to understand, Alex.’

He sighed. He didn’t know how he felt, didn’t know why he rejected all the eligible young women he came across at first glance. Perhaps if he was honest, he might admit he was trying to prevent himself from getting hurt again.