Page 106 of Regency Whispers: Scandalous Matches

As he paused to look at the water, a group of about a dozen ladies seated on the grass a little way from its edge caught his eye. They were finely dressed and as he looked closer he realised he recognised one or two, his eyes sweeping over the group until they settled on the pretty, petite form of his wife. She was dressed in dark blue, a colour that served to accentuate the red in her hair and the beautiful porcelain paleness of her skin. She looked relaxed, leaning back on her hands as she turned her head to talk to the woman next to her.

None of the ladies had spotted him, and so for a moment he just watched Lady Westcroft. She was mesmerising. It was undeniable she was pretty, but that quality became enchanting when she smiled. The smile was natural and easy on her lips, and Simon felt himself drawn to her as he had been on the night of the masquerade ball. He wanted to stride over and pull her into his arms, tracing the softness of her face with his fingers, making it so her smile was directed at only him.

It was an unsettling feeling, and quickly he tried to dampen it. The last thing he needed now was to feel attraction towards his wife. He needed a clear head in the negotiations that were to come about their future, and feeling desire for the woman whose life he was ruining would not help.

As he watched, two young children ran up to the group, talking excitedly to the woman who sat beside Lady Westcroft. The boy had a model boat in his hand and was gesticulating at the Serpentine. Their mother laughed indulgently, but it was Lady Westcroft who stood and took the boy’s hand, allowing him to lead her down to the water. She crouched down in between the little boy and girl, listening intently to what they said and then helped them set the boat on the water. On the first attempt it wobbled and nearly capsized, and he found himself smiling as Lady Westcroft threw her head back and laughed alongside the children. The second attempt was more successful, and they stayed watching the boat as it bobbed along in the water.

Simon felt a pang of sadness, both for himself and his wife. He could see by this simple interaction how good Lady Westcroft was with children. Despite not spending the time to get to know her hopes and dreams for the future, he could remember her talking of the idea of children fondly and this being the main concern when weighing up whether she should accept his proposal for the marriage to save her reputation.

At the time, the offer he had made called for her to postpone her desire for a family, but now, with the question of his mortality very much unclear, it might be that Lady Westcroft would never have children of her own.

Simon was about to turn away when his wife glanced up, looking directly at him. For a moment she did not move and then she stood, inclining her head in an invitation for him to join her.

With a sinking heart he walked over slowly. In all this mess he could not deny his own disappointment, even though he felt guilty for even considering trying to live a normal life. Once, long before he had lost his brother, he had assumed he would marry and have a family of his own. Now he knew that would never happen, and even though he’d had years to get used to the idea, sometimes he yearned for a normal life. Then he felt guilty for being so selfish when he was lucky to be alive while his brother was not.

‘Lord Westcroft, I did not expect to see you here in the park,’ Lady Westcroft said. She spoke warmly although addressed him formally. He was once again impressed at how much she had learned these last few months in London. Not only had she gained the support of the most influential in society, she had quickly refined her country manners that might make her stand out as different.

‘I had an appointment with my solicitor and thought I would take the scenic route home. It is a beautiful afternoon.’

‘It is indeed. We were meant to meet at Mrs Lattimer’s for tea, but no one could resist when she suggested an outing to the park instead.’ Lady Westcroft motioned behind her to the woman she had been sitting next to.

Simon looked round, nodding in greeting to the ladies he was acquainted with. They were watching him with open curiosity, no doubt keen to see how he interacted with the wife he had left behind after a single day of marriage.

‘I do not want to disturb you.’

She looked up at him with a half-smile on her face. When he had left ten months earlier, she had seemed young and innocent; now there was an air of experience in her poised demeanour, and Simon knew he was responsible for forcing her to grow up.

‘It is good to see you, my Lord. I have hardly set eyes on you since you returned to England.’

Simon attempted to smile but struggled to produce more than a twitch of his lips, surprised again at how forgiving his wife seemed. He’d abandoned her in a world she did not know, and now he was threatening to rock the life she had made for herself again.

‘Shall we take a little stroll? I am sure Sebastian and Lilith will not mind.’ With natural ease Lady Westcroft crouched down and swept the model boat from the water, handing it back to Sebastian. ‘We do not want it to sail out into the middle of the lake. I do not relish the idea of wading out to fetch it.’

Sebastian giggled and then wrapped his chubby arms around her neck. Simon watched as his wife’s face flushed with joy. Lady Westcroft waited until the two children were safely back in the care of their nanny before she turned her attention back to Simon.

‘They are sweet children,’ she said with a smile as she followed his gaze before lowering her voice. ‘Sometimes I find myself envious of their nanny. I am sure behind closed doors they are sometimes a terror, but you would not believe it when you see them in public.’

‘Have you had a pleasant day?’

‘Yes, thank you. I spent some time going through the household accounts with Miss Stick this morning. A mere formality, as she is the most organised of housekeepers I have ever met, but I like to learn how to do these things, and she is a good teacher. Then this afternoon has been spent in the sunshine with friends.’

‘It does sound a nice way to spend an afternoon,’ Simon murmured.

She looked at him curiously. ‘I do have a good life, my Lord. I am aware how lucky I am.’

So much hung unsaid between them, and Simon knew they would have to address it soon, but he didn’t want to do that here with everyone watching them. What he had to say would be better received in private where Lady Westcroft would have the freedom to react without having to think of who was watching.

They walked a little farther along the path, arm-in-arm. Half her face was in shadow from the bonnet that was tied firmly under her chin, and it made it difficult to work out what she might be thinking.

Simon wished for a moment that this was their life, an easy happiness where all they had to worry about was which social invitations to accept and which to refuse. Quickly he pushed the thought away. The idea of a conventional marriage to Lady Westcroft was tempting as he walked beside her. She was kind and sensible and pleasant to be around. He couldn’t deny the flicker of desire he felt every time she looked at him with those blue eyes or the way something clenched deep inside him when she smiled. Yet it was a temptation he could never give in to. It would be unfair, with his future so uncertain. It would be better to offer her a deal where they both led separate but contented lives, only occasionally meeting.

As if sensing his thoughts, she turned to face him again, her eyes rising to meet his. ‘You seem troubled, my Lord.’

He cleared his throat but couldn’t find the words.

‘Is something amiss?’

‘I watched you for a moment with those children. You were very good with them.’