Page 124 of Regency Whispers: Scandalous Matches

She let out a soft sigh and then wriggled a little, and as he watched, her eyelids flickered open. She gave him a sleepy smile, not really registering she was pressed against her husband in bed, but after a few seconds her eyes widened, and she scrabbled to sit up, pulling the bedcovers around her.

He hair was loosed down her back, and he vaguely remembered leaning in and plucking some of the pins out the night before, yet he certainly wouldn’t have had the dexterity to remove them all. That meant she had taken some out herself. Equally, even if he had been the one to pull her into bed, she would not have remained trapped indefinitely. At some point she had decided to stay, decided to spend the night with her husband, removed the rest of the pins from her hair and fallen asleep in his arms.

‘Good morning,’ he said, speaking softly, aware that soon his head would begin pounding from the aftereffects of the alcohol.

‘Good morning,’ Alice said eventually.

‘Thank you for helping me to bed last night.’

She inclined her head, unable to meet his eye for a second. ‘How do you feel?’

‘Like I drank far too much whisky yesterday,’ he said with a half-smile. ‘Unsurprisingly.’

She looked at him, biting her lip and screwing up the bed-sheets in her hands.

‘I’m so sorry,’ she blurted out, a look of anguish on her face. ‘What I said to you yesterday was unforgiveable. I should have kept my thoughts to myself. It is none of my business why you do not wish to have a conventional wife or a family. It should be enough that you tell me that you don’t.’

‘Nonsense,’ he said softly. ‘The way we entered into this marriage might have been unorthodox, but I cannot continue pretending I do not have a wife.’ He reached out and placed his hand next to hers so their fingers were touching. ‘If anyone has the right to talk to me of these things it is you.’

‘I went about it the wrong way.’

‘That I will not deny,’ he said, softening the reproof with a smile, ‘but I do not believe your intention was malicious. Indeed, I think it came from a place of affection, which is remarkable, given how I have held you at arm’s-length since I returned.’ He looked down now to where their arms touched and wished he could reach out and take her hand in his own, but despite the desire he felt, despite the affection and respect, he still could not rid himself of the belief that he did not deserve the happiness that such a union would bring.

Alice looked at him sadly. ‘You do deserve happiness, Simon. I know it doesn’t mean much coming from me, a near stranger, but I have listened to what your family have said about you this past year. I have heard of your devotion to your nieces and how you coaxed Sylvia from a very dark place after her father died. I have heard how you supported Maria and ensured she didn’t have to think of the practicalities when she was left widowed with three young children.’ She paused, looking at him almost pleadingly before pressing on. ‘Then, there are your actions when it comes to me. We were both foolish at the Midsummer’s Eve ball, but you would not have suffered the consequences, especially with your plans already made to leave England. Yet despite having an easy way out, you did not hesitate to upend your decision to ensure I was protected. You gave me your name and a life of comfort and opportunity. Do you know how few men would do that for a woman they barely knew?’ She shook her head, not waiting for an answer. ‘You swooped in and rescued me, Simon, from a life of shame and scandal, when my best hope was that a man I hated would consent to marry me. How could I not fall a little in love with you?’

This made him look up sharply, and Alice held up a placating hand.

‘Do not fear, I do not deny over the past year I have dreamed of you returning from Italy, telling me you could not bear to be away from me, but since your return you have made it clear there will be no intimacy between us. We shall live our lives like two spinster siblings, chaste with a moderate affection. I have heard what you have told me over and over again.’

‘I have been a little blunt, haven’t I?’

She smiled at that. ‘Perhaps I have needed the bluntness.’

‘I cannot change how I feel about Robert,’ Simon said.

‘I know.’ Her expression was sad but not surprised. He felt a sudden surge of anger, directed towards himself. Here he was in bed beside a beautiful woman, a woman he had could not stop thinking about kissing, and all he had done these past few days was make her miserable.

‘If you think you could allow yourself to be happy with someone else, I would understand,’ Alice said softly. ‘I know I was not the woman you would have chosen for a wife, and if you wish to take a mistress I will not object.’

‘You doubt my attraction to you,’ he said, his voice low.

She looked at him in surprise, and Simon felt something shift inside him. If he were to reach out and pull her to him, there would be nothing illicit about it. They were husband and wife, and Alice could not hide the fact that she was attracted to him. The only person standing in the way of the desire they both felt was him.

He felt the familiar guilt he was hit with every time he contemplated something enjoyable, but this time he pushed it down. He wasn’t proposing he live a normal, full life with Alice, not like Robert had experienced with his wife, just that he and Alice enjoy the occasional bit of affection.

‘Do not doubt my attraction to you.’

He looped a firm arm around her waist, feeling the warmth of her skin through the layers of her nightclothes. Alice’s body was stiff for a second, and then she let out a little moan and relaxed against him.

Before he could talk himself out of it, Simon kissed her, a kiss filled with all the pent-up desire and passion that had been surging through him since his return. He gripped Alice gently, and manoeuvred her into his lap, loving the way she felt as she wrapped her legs around him.

Her lips were soft and sweet, and he kissed her deeply, as if searching for something he had lost long ago.

‘You do not know how many times I have dreamed of doing this,’ he said, pulling away for a second to kiss the soft skin of her neck. She shivered at the touch of his lips on her skin and pulled him closer.

He wanted to take his time and enjoy her, to show her pleasure in so many different ways, yet he also felt a frantic need to do this quickly in case the rational part of his mind took over at any point.

‘Simon,’ she whispered, invoking his name like he was a demigod. He kissed her again, long and deep, his hands caressing her back.