Page 17 of Regency Whispers: Scandalous Matches

‘Some people would argue that dedicating your life to others, through charity or good deeds, is a more worthwhile way to spend a lifetime.’

He shrugged. ‘It is exactly the same. People do the things that make them feel good. Yes, for some there is also an element of sacrifice, that decision to put someone else’s happiness first, but in the end that makes them feel worthy.’ He paused and searched her eyes with his own. ‘The only difference is I can admit my life is about seeking pleasure.’

Jane regarded him for a long moment. It was an interesting concept and, although she didn’t entirely agree, she did see his idea had merit.

‘Yet you have kept Edward here with you,’ she said quietly.

‘I’m not a monster. The boy has lost everyone he loves.’

‘If you were truly dedicated to your own pleasure then you would have sent him away. I would wager you have a country residence tucked away somewhere, a comfortable house you could have sent him to with a couple of servants to keep him safe and looked after.’

‘Is that what you think I should do with him?’

‘No,’ Jane said quickly. ‘That would be devastating. You know that, and you are putting his needs ahead of yours.’

Mr Stewart gave her a quick smile. ‘I said I seek pleasure, not that I am selfish.’

Together they walked downstairs, and Jane paused in the hallway. She knew she should leave. Her maid was peeking out from the door that led to the kitchens and it would be most appropriate if she returned home now Edward had settled.

‘Stay,’ Mr Stewart said. ‘Stay until Edward wakes.’

‘I could,’ Jane said slowly. ‘But I wonder if it would be better if he woke and you were sitting beside his bed.’

Mr Stewart didn’t argue, watching her silently as she ushered her maid into the hallway and to the door.

‘I thought of taking Edward to Astley’s later. Perhaps you would like to come?’

Jane hesitated. She had thought of trying to slip away that afternoon to visit some of the publishing houses she had been to when she had first arrived in London, hopeful and inexperienced. They had refused to even admit her then, but she was getting better at the patter that would gain her an audience with the right people.

‘Astley’s sounds lovely.’

‘Bring whoever you would like as a chaperon.’

‘Thank you.’

‘Shall I pick you up at four o’clock?’

She felt a frisson of excitement. When she had agreed to come to London with Lady Mountjoy for the winter months leading up to the Season, her focus had been entirely on trying to find someone to publish her stories. But, as the weeks had passed and her friendship with the other debutantes had blossomed, she had begun to enjoy all the new experiences. Not so much the balls and the dress fittings, but the trips around London, the visits to Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens, the strolls through the park. Jane was well aware that after these few months she would return to Somerset and might never leave the county again. It was a long way from Bath to London, and a journey her family could ill afford.

Astley’s was another place she had heard much about, and she reasoned one afternoon away from her mission wouldn’t hurt.

‘Thank you.’

She turned to go, a footman opening the door for her, but before she could step outside Mr Stewart caught her hand. Jane felt a jolt of energy pass through her, making her skin prickle and burn as if it were on fire.

‘Thank you for coming this morning,’ he said quietly, sincerely.

Jane managed to nod, feeling her heart pound in her chest, and forced herself to pull her hand away and break contact. Out on the pavement she risked a glance back, feeling the breath being pulled from her body as he gave her one last smile.

‘Stop it,’ she muttered to herself. Mr Stewart was a consummate charmer, a man she tolerated for the convenient agreement they had made, and for the sake of his sweet nephew. She would not allow herself to succumb to the allure of his smile. She was stronger than that, shrewder than that.

‘This is all very mysterious,’ Lucy said, and Jane had to pull herself away from the window to reply.

‘There is nothing mysterious at all about it.’

Lucy raised an eyebrow. ‘A man with a reputation as a notorious rake has invited you to Astley’s for the afternoon. I only moved out three weeks ago, and before that I am quite sure you had never once mentioned a Mr Stewart.’

‘I didn’t know him then.’