Page 70 of Regency Whispers: Scandalous Matches

Tom bent over his pistol, concentrating on reloading it. He was angry. Angry at himself for how he had handled the situation with Jane, angry with Jane for not granting him a few minutes to explain himself, angry with Mrs Burghley for forcing his hand and starting the gossip that was going to destroy Jane’s reputation.

He turned and aimed again, taking his time and shooting as he exhaled, feeling a surge of triumph as another plate shattered.

‘I can guess, if you would prefer it,’ Western said.

‘You can be annoying as hell, Western, did you know that?’

‘My wife tells me on a daily basis.’

Tom sighed and put down the pistol, knowing Western wasn’t going to stop until he had the whole story from him.

‘I’ve messed up,’ Tom said quietly.

‘With the woman you were telling me about?’

‘Jane, yes.’

Western took another shot, smashing one of the plates, and then motioned for Tom to go on.

‘Mrs Burghley told a few people about having seen us kiss,’ he said, still unable to comprehend how he was in this situation when a couple of days ago he had been sure he would marry Jane. ‘The rumours spread quickly.’

‘Were you forced to propose?’

‘I had told Jane I would—I promised her I wouldn’t abandon her. Even so, when we heard the rumours it was a bit of a shock. I think part of me thought Mrs Burghley might do the kind thing and keep quiet.’

‘Did you react poorly?’

Tom thought back, wondering if Jane had seen it as so. He hadn’t jumped for joy when he’d realised her reputation had been destroyed in one swoop, but he didn’t think he had reacted particularly poorly.

‘I wasn’t ecstatic,’ he said slowly. ‘But I accepted what had to happen. We were out when we heard the rumours and hurried to get back to Lady Mountjoy’s house.’

Western nodded, starting to reload his pistol, handing it to Tom before picking up the one Tom had abandoned. Tom aimed and fired, finding it easier to think when part of his brain was distracted by shooting the pistol.

‘Jane went upstairs to take a minute and I spoke to Lady Mountjoy.’ He paused, trying to remember the exact words he had said. ‘I told Lady Mountjoy it couldn’t be a marriage fuelled by love, but that it would suit both of us perfectly well. Jane would keep her reputation and I would gain a mother figure for Edward.’

Western looked at him with an expression of surprise.

‘I thought you were meant to be good with the ladies. I take it she heard this?’

‘Yes, unfortunately she did.’

‘Is she in love with you?’

Tom was about to say no, but then he stopped himself and considered. Jane was always practical, always sensible, but he knew there was a layer of deeper feeling there. When they had kissed, he’d seen it burning in her eyes, and even when they were together innocently, strolling through the park or dancing in the ballroom, he felt a warmth from her.

‘I think maybe she is.’

‘Then your words would be devastating to her. She probably harboured hopes that you loved her as she loved you.’

Tom tamped down the little voice that declared he did love her, trying to brush it away.

‘I didn’t even get the chance to talk to her about it,’ he said quietly, shaking his head. ‘She ran away, and I searched and searched, but couldn’t find her. Later that day, she went home, but has refused to see me since.’

‘I’m not surprised.’

‘This will ruin her life, Western. I have ruined her life.’

Tom began to reload the pistol, taking his time to combat the shaking of his hands.