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“Okay,” she said, as if the battle was lost and she had no fight left in her. “But you first.”
Ben’s clothes were off as fast as he could tear them away from his body, and he was helping Liv get rid of hers.
“God, I need you so much.”
“Ben…” There it was, the way she said his name, as if he hadn’t been on fire already.
“Ben, stop.”
Something in the way she said it resonated with him, and he stopped.
“Tell me,” he said, his breathing lumbered.
“I’m not on birth control anymore.”
“Liv, I—” What? What could he say? That he didn’t care? They would be spending the rest of their lives together, and if she had his baby it would make him the happiest man on earth? She’d run out of the house naked to get away from him if he said any of that.
“Don’t worry, sweet girl,” he said instead, kissing down her neck. “I’ll take care of you, you know that.” His mouth worked its way lower, across her breasts, down to her stomach. He put his arms around her and pulled her close, laying his cheek against her, imagining how it would be to know she carried his child inside her.
He stood and lifted her on to the bed. “I need you, baby, all of you.” He rolled onto his back, so she was on top of him. “Be still, this way, your skin on mine. Look at me, Liv.” He put his hands on each side of her face, and sang to her.
Having had your joy, having had your desire, and then, baby, you fall.
“I dreamt of this,” she said. “Fantasized about it, would be a better way to put it.”
“Oh, yeah? When?”
“All the time.”
“Tell me.”
“Better to show you.” Liv opened the drawer on the nightstand, but Ben held up his hand and showed her he already had what she was looking for.
“Put it on for me,” he said.
Liv’s cheeks turned pink, but she took the package from his hand.
“We could go without, if you wanted to,” he ventured.
“Ben—I don’t…”
Why had he opened his mouth? Now wasn’t the time to have this conversation. “I’m sorry. Forget I said that. Keep doin’ what you were doin’, baby. Don’t stop.”
She rolled it on, then straddled him until he was buried deep inside her. She leaned back, but her hands rested on his chest. Ben held her still, then started to move beneath her. He leaned up, to get more of her against him as he drove himself into her. Her hands dug into his skin as his cupped her bottom.
“Liv, I can’t wait. Waited so long for this. Oh God, I love you.”
His mouth moved over her lips, his teeth scraped hers and he bit her swollen bottom lip.
He rolled her beneath him, the way he saw her in his fantasies, writhing under him. “Here,” he said, “right here, Liv.” He drove into her, relentlessly, pushing her, pushing himself, until they both came together.
Liv put her face against his sweaty neck and licked up under his ear. She breathed in deeply, as though she wanted to say something.
Ben stilled, waiting. But nothing. Her lips kissed from his ear to his jaw until her mouth found his. She kissed him hard, putting her arms around his shoulders to hold herself closer.
“Tell me,” he said, easing her back down on to the pillow.
“Ben.”
