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“Sure. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said to Liam as he walked out the door.
Even with Liam gone, his words and what they meant lingered in my mind. I did care about Zach. I might have tried to convince myself that he was just someone I needed to get out of my system. But all it took was being with him once to see how good we were and know I wanted to do it again.
Did I already think in the back of my mind that he would be great in bed? Did I want to be with him so that I could find a way to be with him more? Had I already found a guy I wanted to be with even if I knew I couldn’t? Or had I chosen to be with him simply because I knew I couldn’t? Because he was safe because he was off-limits?
No matter who he was, it didn’t stop me from wanting him or thinking about what it would be like if we could be together.
Maybe Liam was right. Maybe Zach and I could see each other in private, if we were careful. If no one knew about us, then we could find a way to make it work. It actually sounded like fun to hide it from everyone. Including my mother.
I immediately thought about how it would look if it came out. I was up for tenure soon. Any indiscretion or blemish on me and my standing could ruin my chances of getting it. If that happened, it would be hard for me to find a job in another district, if at all. And being found sleeping with my stepbrother would be a big indiscretion and one they could not forgive easily.
Liam meant well and wanted me happy, but no matter how much he pushed or tried to convince me, I knew I couldn’t be with Zach. At least not right now. Once things settled with our parents, and I was more secure in my job, I could see if we could have something more.
It was crazy to think about a guy that I slept with once in such a long-term fashion, but I did with Zach. He was funny, sweet, kind, and so incredibly sexy. I hadn’t been attracted to a man the way I was with him in a long time.
Part of me wanted to believe it was because I couldn’t have him. Or because of the way we had first had sex, but it was more than that. It was who he was; it was how he made me feel when we were together. Yes, that we shouldn’t be together added a bit to my bad girl nature, but thinking about being with him only made me want to change my ways.
Though, considering how we were the first time we were together, I couldn’t see us getting dull anytime soon. I would imagine us being together would only get more interesting, not less, the longer we were together. He had a bit of a bad boy side to him, and it would be fun to see how we could bring that out in each other.
Not that any of it mattered. He was off-limits. We had discussed it. We had agreed. And thinking about it and wishing it was different wasn’t going to change anything. But that didn’t stop me from looking at my phone and wishing I would hear from him and longing for a time when things would be different.
Chapter 8
Zach
I stood in front of Victoria’s door and raised my hand to knock on it, only to stop before I could. Taking a deep breath, I told myself it was going to be fine. I needed to be there on official business. It was my last official duty with Victoria, and I needed to be there. Well, I could have sent someone else, and I actually called the original notary and told him not to come. It might not have been the smartest of ideas, but I didn’t care.
It had been over a week since I had seen Victoria, talked to her, held her, and I missed her. So much so that I ached. When I came up with the idea of being there for signing her docs, it seemed like the perfect way to see her again. Though now that I was standing outside her door, I wasn’t sure if it was.
The worst she could do was kick me out or tell me she didn’t want to see me. But I didn’t think she would. I had to know if she missed me as much as I missed her. If she thought about me as much as I thought about her. If she was regretting our decision to stay apart like I was. It had been a hellish week, and the only way to make it better was to see her. Which was why I had decided to be the one to help her sign her final documents, not someone else.
When I knocked on the door, she immediately opened it. She was beautiful standing in her long red sundress with spaghetti straps. It was loose-fitting, and it looked like one of the straps was about to fall off her shoulder. It made me want to help it down and kiss the exposed skin as I took the rest of the dress off. She smiled as she opened the door, and it turned to shock, confusion, and then a soft smile when she saw it was me.
“Zach? What are you doing here?” she asked.
I lifted the papers I had for her to sign. “Helping you get your house.”
“Oh, you’re a notary?”
“Yes. I thought it was wise to get in case anyone needed me to or a notary backed out. I would hate to think I could lose a sale because of someone else or because of something that I could easily do myself.”
“That’s smart. Did Hank cancel?”
“Not exactly.”
“Why don’t you come in and tell me what happened?”
She stepped aside so that I could move into her apartment. It was small and cramped, and I could see why she wanted to move to a bigger place. It was a studio apartment with barely enough room to hold her bed and had a small sitting area to eat and watch TV. The back of the apartment was filled with boxes, and I could tell she had already started packing.
“It’s a nice place you have here,” I said as she walked by me and stood in the kitchen.
If it could be called a kitchen. It was more of a kitchenette with a small refrigerator, a two-burner stove, and a single sink. There was barely enough counter space to put a plate, much less cook anything.
“No. It’s not. But the price is right, and it’s close to school, so I didn’t have to use my car. It helped me to save money so I could buy my place. And before you ask, I didn’t want to take any of my mother’s money, nor did she really offer any of it.”
“That’s admirable of you. I can respect that.”
“Thanks. Can I get you something to drink?”
