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It was definitely a statement, not a question, and it was then that I understood he was talking about Zach. “I had a man that I was seeing come and visit me a while back. It was after school, no kids were on campus, and I didn’t see the harm in him saying hello. Other people have friends and family members come by all the time.”
“Coming by to say hi, to drop off a lunch, or even pick someone up at the end of the day, is one thing. What you and Mr. Thomas were caught doing was none of those things.”
My mind raced as I tried to find a way out of this. There was no point in denying that Zach had been there and we had fooled around in my office, but it hadn’t gotten very far. I had stopped it before any clothes had come off. As fun as that might have been and as adventurous as I was becoming, thanks to Zach, I just felt like I was stepping over a line by doing anything more than we did.
“Dr. Janson, I have difficulty believing that I’m the first teacher to ever kiss someone in their office. Did a student see and get overstimulated? Do I need to talk to them?”
“The person in question does not want to be identified, and according to them, it was more than just kissing. This is a public place, children could have seen you, and quite frankly, I have to say, I am surprised at you.”
"I don’t know what they saw, or thought they saw, but it didn’t go any farther than some kissing and what could be called heavy petting.”
“First, it was just kissing; now it’s heavy petting, as you call it. You keep changing your story, and that doesn’t look good for you.”
“Nothing happened. If I could just talk to whoever saw us, I could explain things. I’m sure it was all a misunderstanding.”
“That isn’t going to happen. This has come to my attention, and I need to address it, which I am. I have called you here today not to have you offer an explanation but to find a way to fix this and move past it.”
“Fix it? How?”
“I like you, I don’t say that often, and I technically shouldn’t pick favorites when it comes to any of my teachers or colleagues, but I like you. More importantly, the students and the parents like you. It would be better for everyone if we could keep you on. I think besides this one indiscretion, you can and will make a fine teacher one day. One that we would be proud to have on this campus.”
“Thank you, Dr. Janson, that means a lot to me. Whatever I need to do to make this right, to fix it, please let me know, and I will do it.”
“Good. I’m glad you’re seeing things my way. First and foremost, you need to promise me that something like this will never happen again.”
“No. Of course not,” I agreed.
In my mind, nothing happened the first time, so there was no need to really promise that. What mattered was saying and doing whatever I needed to do so that I could keep my job. I wasn’t sure if tenure was still an option, I didn’t think so, but maybe I could find a way to convince him to reconsider me next year.
“Excellent. I was sure it was just a momentary lapse in judgment. We all have those when we’re young. It’s understandable, once, but never again,” Dr. Janson said, his gray eyes intent on mine.
“Yes. Completely. I understand.”
“As you can understand too. It wouldn’t be good for the man you were with to be seen on campus again. We need to protect our students and facility from any undue triggers that might cause them excessive harm or stress. Which is why I’m sure you can understand that it would be best, preferably really, for all parties considered if the man you were with was never seen on campus again.”
“What?”
That couldn’t be right. I didn’t even think Dr. Janson had the right to say something like that. I didn’t know what was going to happen with Zach and me, but I couldn’t imagine a future where he never came on campus to see me.
“Now, there’s no need to get upset,” Dr. Janson started.
I wanted to tell him he was banning someone from seeing me or at least going to my place of work, ever, and he didn’t think that would upset me?
“There’s a lot for you to consider here. I have been very generous with you. It is within my right to fire you. Without tenure, I don’t need any excuse to let you go, and if I did, this one would more than justify my decision. As I see that would not be good for the school or for you, I’m willing to look the other way. But not without some considerations on your part. Some sacrifices, shall we say? This is one of them, and it’s not negotiable.”
Could I do that? Could I agree that Zach could never come on campus? Would he be okay with that? It seemed like a small price to pay in order to have my tenure. I might have crossed a line with what we did. Maybe someone did see more than they should. Dr. Janson could just tell me I wasn’t getting tenure, and my chances of ever getting a job, much less tenure, would go right out the window. But he hadn’t. I would find a way to make this work. Maybe in a few years, I could move to a different district if Zach and I were together, and it wouldn’t be a problem.
This would pass; it would have to. And it would be short-sighted of me not to agree to what Dr. Janson was saying simply because I didn’t like it.
“Okay. I understand,” I said.
“Then you agree. The man will never be seen on campus again?”
“Yes. I agree, and I understand.”
“Good. See how easy this is? I knew we could come to an amicable solution. I hope you have come to see that we look at all of the staff here not just as colleagues but as family as well. And I do think you will be a wonderful addition to our family. As such, we see that our staff, our family, as a whole, reflects the school as a whole.”
“Okay,” I said slowly. I wasn’t sure what he was getting at.
