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Why was I dragging this out? I had no choice. This man would murder me and not miss a wink of sleep over it.
I signed, trying to make my name as legible as possible, and then handed it back.
“Great. Go.” He pointed to a door in the back of the room with a lit green light above it. He waved me forward as if he were as happy to see me leave as I was to go.
I didn’t waste any time and ran for the door. I opened it and the world went black, then suddenly, everything righted itself. I was standing on the bridge, where I’d fallen. Or started to fall? It was light out, and as I turned, there was no room, no building. There was a bridge with cars driving past, and I knew exactly where I was.
Shit.I’d had a psychotic break. I’d been under a lot of stress. I hadn’t slept well. I’d been on edge all week, thinking of this interview. It happened to people all the time.
I looked at my phone. Two hours had passed. It was too late to go to the appointment, but I’d call and say I was sick. It wasn’t exactly a lie. I’d beg for a new appointment. Right now, I’d go home. But everything would be fine. I’d eat better, sleep better. It would be good.
All I wanted to do was get home, see my grandmother, and hug her.
My phone had finally died. When I got back to where my car had been, it was gone, probably towed. It was okay. I wasn’t that far. I could walk.
I hit my block a half an hour later, just as an ambulance was rolling out a body, completely covered in a blanket, including the head. The only thing that was visible was a stray lock of silver hair hanging from the too-still body.
I stopped walking, dropping to the ground a couple houses away, feeling utterly numb. They were taking my gram away. The only person who had ever loved me, no matter what I did, was gone.
Chapter Four
The casket was lowered into the ground. Inch by inch, Gram was disappearing from my life. The woman who’d been more of a mother to me than anyone was gone. She’d warned me she was leaving, and I hadn’t believed her. I’d written the conversation off. What I’d do to get those last minutes with her back…
My boyfriend Johnny laid his arm around my shoulders, and I flinched. My skin had felt like it was on fire since I woke up this morning with some sort of stress-related rash. There wasn’t a bump or spot to be seen, but even clothing grazing my flesh was nearly intolerable.
“Sorry,” he said. “I forgot about the skin thing.”
“It’s all right.” I took his hand in mine, looking up into his warm eyes, ignoring the discomfort that even that contact caused.
“I have to head out soon,” he said softly. “I’m sorry, I just can’t miss this meeting at work.”
“It’s okay. Go.”
He gave me a kiss and then went to say goodbye to my mother.
A few more people were strolling over to the grave as he did. The turnout was bigger than I’d imagined. Besides Jeannie and a few of my friends that stopped by the service, there were so many people I’d never met. Who were they all?
My mother sidled up to me. “Are you looking for him?” she asked—even now, at her mother’s funeral, her obsession with my father took top billing. “He’s not coming. I called and left a message with his people, but he’s too good to show up to support either of us,” she said, her whisper doing nothing to disguise the acid in her tone.
My mother took every opportunity she could to find a reason to reach out to him. She’d done this my entire life, using any excuse she had, including me. I’d seen the disregard he had for us both when I was a child, and yet here she was, fifty-five and still clinging to some delusional hope.
For the sake of sending Gram off as she deserved, I’d feed into her delusions.
“His assistant might not have given him the message,” I said, trying to manage the fury already brewing in her eyes. It was a lie. Any sane person knew that, but when someone refused to accept the truth, there weren’t too many avenues left. I’d spent every last dime I could get my hands on, maxed out the last of my credit cards to pay for this service, and Gram’s daughter was not going to ruin it with one of her episodes.
“You think?” she asked, ready to cling to any glimmer of hope, no matter how unbelievable.
“Definitely,” I said, watching even more people I didn’t know walking toward the grave. “Do you know any of these people?”
“Huh?” She glanced around as if not having noticed the crowd. “Them? They’re probably from that place where she played bingo.”
I scanned the crowd again. These were Gram’s bingo friends? There wasn’t a senior in the group, and their clothes all looked designer “They’re a little young for her crowd, don’t you think?” I asked.
“Honey, I know Grams had hit ninety, but”—she nodded toward the group—“eighties isn’t exactly a spring chicken.”
Eighties?There wasn’t a face over forty in this crowd. My mother was sipping from her to-go cup. Had she hit the booze hard enough to not see their faces clearly?
I shifted closer to one of my cousins. “Lizzie, what do you think of the turnout? I didn’t realize Gram had so many friends.”
