Page 17 of Outside the Pack


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Fortunately, there were a couple of empty spots at the table where mothers ate with their children. Mom and I shared an excited look. We were quite familiar with the younger generations of the pack. Mom knew them from the agricultural classes that she taught at the schoolhouse, and I often looked after the children in the summer when school wasn’t in session.

We sat down at the end of the table, and the kids squealed happily at getting to sit near their two favorite people. Their mothers looked up at the ruckus and smiled at us.

“It’s a beautiful night, isn’t it?” one of the mothers said…to me!

I perked up. “Yes, I think so. I don’t think the final day of this ceremony could have happened on a better night.” After I said it, I winced inwardly and sent a glance at the tree that hid my bag. Will they think that was stupid? Did I come off as trying too hard?

But when nods and murmured agreements went around the table, I realized my fears were unfounded. The conversation continued without my input, but I didn’t mind. I felt warmth in my chest at being included at all. Mom bumped me with her shoulder, and when I looked at her, I found a proud smile on her lips. I ducked my head, my cheeks flushing with pride. This, too, would be a memory that I would cherish once I had left.

I outright avoided the wolves my age because they were all under Troy’s control, and the older wolves rarely acknowledged me. So I never really got the chance to speak to anyone other than Mom. That said, the newer mothers of the pack were more tolerant of my presence because I had such a good relationship with their children. Chatting with them was such a rare treat.

I focused for a while on the delicious foods. The flavors melted on my tongue, at once spicy and sweet and tangy and savory. The fruit and vegetables tasted so fresh and tender, thanks in no small part to Mom’s skills in the garden. The richness of the food lulled me into a kind of non-thinking state where all that mattered was my plate and shoveling as much food inside me as I could. I occasionally snapped out of the fugue to speak to my mom or to drink some water, but for the most part, I kept my head down and enjoyed my meal.

When I finished, I raised my arms over my head and stretched out like a cat. That was so tasty, but I shouldn’t have eaten so much. It might come to bite me in the ass once I get going. I felt a tug on my sleeve and looked down to see one of the children peering up at me. His name was Taren, and he was ten years old. He had his mother’s light-brown hair and his father’s blue eyes. When he smiled up at me, he revealed the adorable gap between his two front teeth.

“Look, look, Bryn,” he said, pointing toward the entrance.

I looked and saw that while I’d been inhaling my food, most of the dining tables and buffet tables had been moved outside so everyone could eat under the stars. Because the Alpha challenge was still a few hours out, couples were out there dancing to the beat of pop music that played through portable speakers. Because so much had moved without my paying attention, I looked again at the tree where my bag was stashed. Phew. It’s still there.

Out loud, I said, “Wow. Are you gonna go out there and dance, Taren?”

He nodded. “Uh-huh, I want to, but I don’t want to go by myself. Would you dance with me?”

My heart swelled with affection for the boy, and I nodded. “Of course, as long as that’s okay with your mommy?” I sent a questioning look to Taren’s mother, who laughed and nodded.

“You’ll be doing me a favor,” she said. “He’s been bugging me about going out there since they started moving the tables around.”

I grinned. I looked at Mom, who winked back. “I hope the next dance is reserved for me.”

“Of course,” I laughed. “I’ll come and get you after the next song.”

“Come on, Bryn, come onnn!” Taren tugged me to my feet and towed me along to the dance floor. He was only ten, but his grip on my hand proved that he had incredible strength already. I decided not to think about how I was weaker than even a shifter child. That would only make me feel more out of place.

The air was cool enough to make our breath fog, but as Taren and I started moving, I hardly noticed the cold. We held hands and did funny dances together. To my delight, those closest to us would occasionally glance our way and smile at how silly we were. My heart beat quickly in my chest, and my face warmed with pleasure. Those glances were the closest thing to pack acceptance I’d ever experienced in my life. They left me feeling lighter than air and like I could do anything.

When Taren got tired and went to sit down, I made eye contact with Mom and gestured for her to come outside. When she arrived, she immediately fell into the rhythm of the song, moving gracefully to the pulse-pounding beat. As I shifted from silly dances to the way my body naturally wanted to move, Mom’s dark eyes glimmered with amusement.

“It’s so good to see you smile like this, honey,” she said, raising her voice to be heard over the music. “And you dance so well! We should do this more often!”

I laughed. “Maybe, but nothing tops working in the garden with you!”

Mom beamed at the compliment and broke rhythm so she could pull me in for a hug. “I love you, sweetheart.”

I hugged her back. I took in her lovely, earthy scent and felt tears in the back of my eyes. I would miss my mom so much, but hopefully, we would meet again someday. Before the tears could flow, I pulled away so I could take her hand and twirl her around. “Love you too, Mom.”

I danced for hours, but I kept a close eye on my bag, trying to figure out the best opportunity for my escape. As midnight drew near, the music shifted from pop to more traditional wolf music, which involved a lot of brass and pounding drums. The pack started to perform the traditional dances that accompanied the music, so we peeled away from the crowd. Mom gave me a kiss on my forehead and turned in for the night. I told her I would stay a little longer to watch the dancing.

Thus far, my night had been perfect—no, better than perfect. I had danced and eaten and had even shared a few smiles and laughs with the wolves. I wondered if I would feel this way more often if I were truly part of the pack. If I could shift, I wouldn’t have to hide behind my boots and jackets in the cold—I could be as free as the others. I would know the sharp, graceful moves to the traditional dances. I had never been allowed to learn them because, according to my instructors and classmates, to teach a human would violate the tradition that established these dances.

If I were pack, I might have already caught the eye of a strong young wolf eager to prove his worth to the Alpha before claiming me as his own on my birthday. For the first time in hours, the old sadness crept back in. I yearned to feel part of something larger than myself, to belong. But that would never—could never—happen to a human like me. Not here.

I’ve stayed long enough. No one’s paying me any attention, so this is the perfect time to make my escape. I pushed myself to my feet.

“Bryn?”

The tiny voice made me stop. I looked down to see another young pup at my side. I couldn’t remember this one’s name, but I recognized him.

I smiled and crouched to be eye-level with him. “What is it, sweetie?”

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