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I looked around, and all sorts of feelings and emotions came up. It had just been so long since I’d cried, and I cried for at least an hour. Right there on the couch in the living room, not a light on inside. The darkness was the only balm I could feel.
The next morning, I called the lawyer that I’d talked to before, and he wanted to meet at Christy’s Diner. I had not found a better place for pancakes anywhere, even with all of my travels. I agreed to the location because of that fact, and I said that I would be there soon. Staying in the house and thinking about it all didn’t sound like anything that I wanted to do.
When I got to the diner, Emory was already there and had ordered for both of us. Apparently, there was nothing else that was worth ordering as far as he was concerned, and I just went with it. The last thing I wanted to do was deal with any small decisions that I didn't need to make. I had some really big ones to make quite soon. He said that he had more to tell me about Grandad and since they were friends, maybe I was looking for more than just a lawyer. Maybe I was looking for a few stories to remind me that I'm not the only one missing him.
“So, what else did we need to talk about?”
“You got into town last night? That was quick.”
I agreed, and then he asked if I had stayed at the house, and I told him that I had.
“It was quite weird being back there. I can't believe he's gone.”
He assured me that he couldn't either, and neither one of us talked for several moments. I'm not sure what there was to say. I still had to get the funeral together, and I worried that whatever Grandad had set up, would not be enough. I wanted him sent off in a way that everybody would remember.
We talked about the will and what was left and what I needed to do. I wasn't as worried about that as I was about the funeral, and I asked him what Granddad had set up. He was always a simple man in life, and while I wanted to honor that, I wanted him to go out with a big bang, as well. He meant so much to me and so many others, it seemed only fair that we sent him out in the same manner he’d come.
As we went through it, I quickly realized that Granddad had done well. Everything that could be thought about had been thought about, and I knew that the service would be perfect. I thanked his lawyer for taking the time to meet with me. I knew that he didn't have to. Emory was friends with him and that somehow made it easier. It made it feel like he was doing the right thing and taking care of it, because he owed it to Grandad. I didn't know if that was true or not, but I certainly felt like Grandad and his legacy was in good hands.
When I left the restaurant, I told him that I would see him again soon. The funeral was the next day and I only had one day to get some things together and figure out what I was going to do. I lived part time in Chicago and part time in Paris. I lived in Paris exclusively for years before I came back to get set up in America. I certainly knew this tiny town was not the best place that I could be for my career, but at the same time, it seemed like the perfect place. Grandad leaving his house to me made it so that I would have my own space that I wouldn't have to pay an arm and a leg for. Granddad, in his passing, had probably given me one of the best gifts that he could have, and it instantly satiated me because I wanted to move on with my own company and this was the way. I had so much to thank him for, but I liked to believe that he knew.
Going back to the house, I started to clean up, and found myself in tears several times. I was really going to miss him, and too many objects and places in the house held memories that had me choking back emotions most of the day.
