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“But,” he said, shifting us both so his body was over mine, weight pressing me into the mattress, “I’ll tell you what it looks like for me.”
“Is this coercion?” I smirked up at him, thoroughly enjoying the feel of his naked and hardening body on mine. “Because if it is, it’s working.”
Jude smiled. “Maybe.”
I laughed, relaxing into his hold. “Tell me.”
“I have no interest in controlling your entire life, Lena.” His voice was serious. “You were doing perfectly well before me, and if I weren’t here, you’d still be doing amazing.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” I admitted. But it wasn’t the conversation we were having right now. I saw him bookmark the comment for later, along with my nightmares.
“Furthermore,” he said, “if there’s ever a time in your life, permanent or not, when you want me to take control, I’m happy to. I will gladly take what you give. But the only place I won’t compromise on is here.”
I fought to keep my face serious. “My house? How presumptuous.”
Jude kissed my neck, and any jokes disappeared. If he was going to do that…
“In bed.” The words slipped across my skin. “Anything sexual, for that matter, regardless of where we are. You’re mine.”
The word made me shudder, shades of last night echoing through my mind. The image played out in my head. Me, doing everything I normally did at the bakery and day-to-day, even coming back and doing the same things at home. Dinner with Jude. Reading and tea. And then as soon as we crossed the threshold, he was in charge and I wasn’t, and…
There was something so relieving about it. As a single person before Jude, and as a business owner, my entire life was making decisions. Things as small as what to make for dinner or as large as whether to purchase a new piece of equipment for the kitchen, and it was exhausting. Having one place where I didn’t have to make any decisions sounded like heaven. Especially if it was going to end in the kind of explosive, see-fireworks-behind-my-eyes, holy-fuck orgasms I’d had last night.
I swallowed and nodded. “I think it sounds nice.”
“Nice?”
A blush tinged my cheeks. “Sorry. Not the right word.” I blurted out all the thoughts that had just crossed my mind and the reasons it sounded beyond nice.
“I won’t lie, though,” I said. “There might be the occasional time when I want to explore you or be on top or something. Will that be okay?”
Jude’s knowing smile sent tingles all the way down to my toes. “What makes you think I won’t order you to do those things?”
My mind went immediately and blissfully blank, arousal flooding me in a single rush. “Right.”
He chuckled and kissed under my jaw. “Like I said, we’re two human people. As much as I need this, there’s always push and pull.”
“I wonder if it’s something I needed and didn’t know.” I didn’t meet his eyes on purpose.
Jude frowned; I saw the corner of his mouth turn down. “Are you embarrassed by that?”
“I mean…yes and no. No, because it makes sense not to know if you like something until you try it. And yes, because I’ve always read books like this and thought it wasn’t for me. If I responded so deeply to something, shouldn’t I have had some kind of clue?”
“Not necessarily. Not a perfect comparison, but think about it as trying a new recipe. Something you’d seen from a distance, and the ingredients maybe weren’t your favorite, so you assumed you wouldn’t love it and didn’t try it. But then you decided to make it, and it turned out the way those ingredients mixed was something you never knew you’d love. Would you be embarrassed by not knowing you would like it?”
He had a point there. “Fair.”
“Now.” Jude’s grin made my whole body tighten. “Since you’re opening late, call Evie and tell her you’ll be in by noon.”
“Noon?” I blinked. The clock on my bedside table said it was only nine. “Why?”
“Because we’re still in the bedroom, and if you don’t have to be at the bakery, then I intend to keep showing you more of this.”
The way his voice darkened with promise had me growing wet, and I reached for the phone.
* * *
The kitchen was an absolute nightmare. On any other day, if the space was like this, I would be losing my shit. As it was, I felt like I was floating on a magic carpet, gently drifting from place to place.
