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“The two of you have never thought about getting together permanently?”
“No. I’m not his type.”
“You were at least once,” I point out, puzzled.
She studies her hands. “Yeah, well, that was different.”
I guess she knows that Huxley and I were dating when she found out she was pregnant. Has he ever told her? I’ve certainly never discussed it with her, so maybe she doesn’t. We weren’t dating when he slept with her. I’m not sure I’d have been able to stay friends with him if that was the case.
“Does Joanna ever ask if the two of you will get together?” I ask.
“No, never. I’m very open with her. She knows Hux and I were never an item. I’ll always be grateful for what he did for me. Supporting me, I mean. I know how lucky I am.” She gestures around the room. I know what she means. I’ve met her parents. Her mother serves behind the till in a petrol station, and her father works in a building firm. She could have picked a lot worse men to sleep with than Huxley, who I’m guessing is a multi-millionaire, if not a billionaire by now. He takes after his father with his business acumen, and I know he invests in stocks and shares, and has made a lot of money over the years.
It’s funny to think he slept with her. I know it was ten years ago, and he’s had a lot of girlfriends since then, but Brandy was different. They made a baby. She’s carried it inside her. She’ll always have that piece of him, that connection that’s so different from any other woman he’s been with.
“I asked him if he’d be a sperm donor for me,” I blurt out. Shit. Why did I say that? I think I just want to talk about it to someone, and most of my friends are guys. Plus, I realize part of me needs to know how she’d feel about it.
Her eyebrows rise. “Oh…” she says, and her face lights up. “How lovely.”
“I’m twenty-nine soon and I don’t want another relationship. But I really want a baby.”
Her expression softens. “That’s understandable.”
“But he said no.”
She blinks and her jaw drops. Clearly the thought of Huxley turning down a woman in need is as surprising to her as it was to me. “Seriously?”
“He… he says he’ll do it the old-fashioned way, though.”
She gives a short laugh. “Cheeky bastard.”
“Yeah.”
“But you said no,” she says slowly. “That’s why he threw you in the pool.”
“He broke my heart once,” I murmur. “I wouldn’t be able to cope if he did it again.”
She meets my eyes, and I can see that she understands. He did tell her about me.
“I’ve never said I’m sorry about that,” she whispers. “But I am.”
I inhale deeply and exhale slowly. “As you said, it was a long time ago.”
“I didn’t ask him to stop seeing you,” she says. “It’s important to me that you know that. It was his choice. He said it wouldn’t be fair to you or to me, and you know what he’s like about fairness.”
“I do.” We smile at each other. Actually, it does make me feel better to know she didn’t demand he not see me.
“He wouldn’t break your heart again,” she says. “You know he’s crazy about you, right?”
I sigh. “You know what he’s like. He doesn’t have a great track record with women.”
“Only because he’s not dated the right one.”
“You don’t know that. He’s a great guy. He’s intelligent and smart, but that also means he gets bored quickly. He’s interested in me because I’m Moby-Dick and he’s Ahab. I’m the one who got away—he actually called me that. He’s a completionist—have you seen him play on the PlayStation? He has to finish every trophy in the game.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. You could also argue that he’s been interested in you for ten years. That’s not a crush or an infatuation. He felt he had to stop seeing you because of what happened between us, but he didn’t stop liking you. You don’t see the way he watches you when you’re not looking. He always has, right from when we were first together. The time’s never been right, that’s all. He needed to make something of himself, to prove to his father that he was ‘worthwhile’.” She puts air quotes around the word. “And he’s a guy, and he doesn’t take much notice of the passing of time. But I guess something happened recently, and now he’s decided he’s ready.”
I think about Valentine’s Day, and the fact that we kissed.You wanted me to kiss you, and you wanted to go back to my room with me.He’s right, and we both know it.
