AllFreeNovel
Share Us
For a moment, my sharp inhale is the only sound in the room. Hot tears burn my eyes as my trembling hand hovers over his lacerations, some in various stages of healing, but all of them undoubtedly in the process of leaving scars.
My emotions rush to the surface, tightening my throat as I choke them back. I want to tell him he shouldn't have done this for me. I want to scold him, and at the same time, I want to thank him. Because he saved me. And in some ways, I think I know he always will. Except I can't allow him to do that this time. Not when I've put him in this position. I won't force his hand. I won't force anyone to love me. And I will not make him pay for a decision I made on my own.
With those thoughts in mind, I try to focus on the task at hand. I reach for the cloths and antiseptic, and I begin the difficult task of cleaning his opened wounds. Judge doesn't make a sound. He doesn't flinch or betray even a second of pain, though I know from experience how badly this hurts. There is no amount of gentility that can take the edge off this kind of agony. Yet he seems to be comfortable with it, as if he's been courting it his entire life. And I realize, in some ways, he probably has.
He told me himself when he confessed his fears. In his mind, he’s tainted with bad DNA. He thinks nothing can alter that, and the only way to keep others safe is to keep them at a distance. It breaks my heart, but at the same time, I think I can understand it better than anyone. In many ways, he and I are the same. The only difference is Judge has somehow cracked me open. Now, in place of the hard shell that once protected me is something softer. Something more vulnerable.
The only problem is vulnerability can't be one-sided.
"I need you to know I don't want anything from you," I say the words in a carefully neutral tone while I reapply fresh bandages.
His muscles ripple beneath my fingers, but he doesn't respond.
"This was my decision. I didn't involve you, and I'm not asking for anything from you. Nothing."
Silence.
"I will do this on my own, and I'm okay with that. As far as I'm concerned, you can forget this ever happened. I will talk to Santi, get my inheritance, and step back from The Society. You can go on with your life, and nobody will ever know." My voice wavers slightly at the plan I've mentally prepared, but I steel myself as I go on. "I want to do this on my own, so don’t feel guilty for the choice I made. I understand you're angry right now, and I get that. But I just need you to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I want nothing from you. Not a single—"
"Enough." Judge snarls, yanking away from me before I can seal the last bandage.
The ferocity in his tone stuns me into silence, that single word ringing with such finality. But what did I expect? This was always going to be the beginning of the end.
"I'm not going to ask you again, Mercedes. Go to your room."
It feels strange, being back in this room. More accurately, it feels achingly empty. I lie on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, waiting for footsteps I know will never come. But even as pain lances through me and I cry silent tears, I have to believe this is for the best. Judge is angry, and I wish he wasn’t, but it serves as a reminder of why I have to follow through with my plan.
I meant what I told him. I’m going to talk to Santi. I’ve had plenty of time to think about it over the last week, and it’s going to be hard. Possibly the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’ll have to own my choices, and I will do it with my head held high. It won’t be a comfortable conversation, given that we’ve only just started to put the past behind us, but I’m in it now, and there’s no getting off this ride. I have to put everyone else’s feelings aside and do what’s best for my children. No matter what.
Later that night, somewhere between darkness and dawn, I manage to get a little more sleep. I only realize it when I’m awakened by the sound of shouting carrying up through my windows. I sit up, straining to hear what’s being said, when I recognize Solana’s voice.
Oh, shit.
I’m moving before I can even think it through. I know this isn’t going to go over well. Not after they realized I was gone from the house without a word. I didn’t even have time to grab the burner phone, so I’m sure they’ve been going out of their minds with worry. That thought is confirmed when I turn the corner into the entryway and see Georgie and Solana at the door, guards at their sides while they argue with Judge.
“You aren’t welcome here,” Judge growls, inches away from Georgie’s face.
They look like they’re about to come to blows, and I don’t like this. I don’t like it at all.
“Stop!” I yell. “Please, stop.”
All three of their gazes whip to me, and Judge shoots me a withering glare so cold, it sucks the breath from my lungs.
“Mercedes.” Solana takes a step forward, only for the guard to grab her by the arm. “Are you okay?”
“Quit manhandling her!” I bellow. “Judge, this is ridiculous. Tell him to let her go. This isn’t necessary.”
“I’m not telling them anything.” His jaw sets, and I could almost swear a look of betrayal flashes through his eyes as he turns away.
I don’t understand it. Is he pissed at me for taking their side?
“Let her come with us freely,” Georgie says, the ire in his voice unmistakable. “Or so help me God, I will make so much noise about this fucking Society of yours you’ll wish you’d put a bullet in my head.”
“That can be arranged,” Judge answers darkly.
“Enough!” I yell at all of them. “Please don’t do this.”
They all fall silent, and I can see the irritation coiling in Judge’s spine, but he still won’t look at me. There’s no way any of them will handle this amicably with tensions as high as they are, and I have to put them at ease.
