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I watch him get out of the bath, glorious in the sunshine, all shiny and wet and oh my God he’s so fucking gorgeous. He dries himself with the towel, then wanders out, uncaring of his nakedness, and I blow out a long breath before I start to get out too.
He’s just being kind, I tell myself. Saying thank you for coming with him this weekend.
But deep inside, I know it’s more than that, and my heart leaps.
I don’t know why. We’re still based on the opposite sides of the world. It’s still crazily complicated, and there’s no easy answer.
But he doesn’t want our time together to come to an end, and that’s a start.
Chapter Sixteen
Titus
We spend a couple of hours sitting in the sunshine, talking to Carrie and John, looking out over the river while we nibble from Heidi’s fruit platter.
Despite the mostly serious topic of conversation, it’s an enjoyable afternoon, maybe because of the setting, or the weather, as the beautiful summer sun continues to shine. Or maybe it’s because I’m partly working, so I can shed myself of the guilt that always hovers whenever I’m taking time off. Most likely it also has something to do with Heidi, who sits by my side, joining in the conversation, refreshing our drinks, and catching my eye from time to time, at which point she smiles shyly before looking away.
Whatever the reason, it’s a pleasant way to spend my time. Carrie and John are interesting to talk to—John’s a GP, so he knows a fair amount about fertility issues and IVF, and Carrie is a chemist and works with her father at Acheron, so she’s also interested in the scientific side of things. But they also bring their personal experience, and as they tell me about their journey toward having a family, it becomes obvious it’s taken an emotional toll.
“I’m sorry,” Carrie whispers at one point, fighting with her tears.
“Don’t be,” I say. “It’s moments like this that make me so determined to help.”
“Titus was telling me about his cousins,” Heidi adds, reaching out to squeeze Carrie’s hand. “One of them is opening a branch of Titus’s company in Wellington.” She glances at me, obviously not sure how much she’s supposed to reveal, but I nod and smile, and she continues, “He’s run the first tests of the new AI program Titus has told you about, predicting which embryos will lead to a live birth, and they’ve had an eighty-five percent success rate.”
“That’s just an initial test,” I say firmly, “it’ll improve as we tweak the parameters and run successive tests.”
“Whether or not it helps us, it sounds promising,” John says. “It sucks to be one of the one-in-four couples for whom a cause can’t be identified.”
“Well, the important thing is that it’s not being caused by some mysterious supernatural force. There’s a scientific reason for it. We just haven’t found it yet.”
Carrie blows out a breath, long and slow. “Do you know,” she says, “that’s the first time someone has phrased it like that.”
“I don’t want to give you false hope,” I tell her gently. “You’ve been through some tough times, and you know there are no guarantees. But chromosomal abnormalities are definitely a factor in IVF cycle failure, and determining which embryos have that greater chance of success could be helpful for you.”
John sighs. “It’s difficult to know at what point to call it a day, you know? I’m thirty-seven now, and Carrie’s thirty-five. We all know that your fertility begins to drop as you move through your thirties, and the risk of miscarriage and stillbirth increases. There’s also a higher risk of gestational diabetes and high blood pressure. We haven’t quite reached that point where we’ve given up, but we’re close.”
“We’re going to give it one more go,” Carrie says. “One more round of IVF. And if it doesn’t happen, I think we’re going to try to accept it wasn’t meant to be.”
“Would you want to be a part of the first trial run at Acheron?” I ask.
They exchange a glance, and then turn their hopeful gazes on me. “Dad said we shouldn’t ask,” Carrie says. “He says you have enough on your plate getting it all organized. But yes, of course, we would love to be a part of it. You can’t know how amazing it would be to increase the success rates of IVF. Well, you probably can. I know you’ve spoken to a lot of couples who’ve been in our position.”
“I have, but I haven’t experienced it myself, so I can’t pretend to know what you’ve been through.”
She smiles at Heidi. “He’s so wonderful. You’re a lucky girl, Heidi.”
I meet Heidi’s gaze and smirk.
“I am,” she says. “Lord Lawrence is a real catch.”
That makes us all laugh. “Yeah, we’d better head back so we can start getting ready,” John says, and they stand to leave.
We see them to the front door, and Carrie stops to give me a hug. “It’s been so great to meet you,” she says.
“Likewise. I just hope we can help.”
She smiles, and they go out to their car.
