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“Ah, but we didn’t know that. That’s why you had to check in daily. Just in case he ripped you limb from limb and hid you in the dungeons.”
“I don’t think the castle has dungeons.”
“Ask him. I want to know.”
“Why?”
“So I can embark on my lucrative career as a serial widow when you marry him,” Amber said nonchalantly. “I need somewhere safe to hide the bodies.”
I frowned at her and reached for my phone, slowly bringing it to my lap so I could text William. “Sounds like an elaborate scheme to make me talk to him, if I’m honest.”
“Well, your phone is in your hand, so you might as well.”
“Funny how that works,” I deadpanned, opening my messages app.
ME: Amber wants to know if you have dungeons at Glenroch Castle.
“There. I asked him. Do you feel better now?”
“I will when I have an answer,” she said, putting the cushion back right as my phone screen lit up. “Well?”
WILLIAM: I feel like I need to know why you’re asking such a thing.
ME: She plans to marry rich men and kill them off and needs a safe space to hide their bodies.
WILLIAM: Of course. That makes sense.
Well, the fact he didn’t balk at it says a lot.
WILLIAM: I feel like dungeons is a strong word, but there’s a considerable basement space that could work for her purpose.
“There’s a considerable basement space,” I said, reading his text to her.
“Sounds like it could be a dungeon with some reasonable renovations,” she replied brightly. “And now you’re talking to him, I’m off to take a bath.”
I sighed. I knew it was a scheme. “Don’t use those coloured bath bombs. It took us ten years to get that purple off the sides of the bath.”
“Don’t exaggerate. If you have to be dramatic, be dramatic to your future husband while you convince him how to renovate his dungeons for me.”
“There’s a whole person who’ll own the castle before him,” I pointed out.
Amber shrugged as she left. “Fine, I’ll just marry his dad first. Then you’ll get the castle quicker, too.”
I laughed, leaning back into the cushions.
Okay, fine.
She’d successfully manipulated me into talking to him, talked sense into me, and made me laugh.
Maybe I wouldn’t trade her in for a model that could go grocery shopping.
I mean, I didn’t get a drawer full of Pringles and sour sweets when she went shopping, did I?
ME: Amber would like you to renovate it into dungeons.
WILLIAM: Is Amber going to pay for it?
ME: She doesn’t pay me rent. What do you think?
