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I stretched across the table to thump his forehead but ended up tipping sideways into Cyrus. I straightened myself and calmly sat back in my chair, refusing to acknowledge that I was obviously drunker than I realized. “Anyway. Does anyone want to share some nachos?”
Jude laughed and tapped his fingers on the table in my direction. “You have work tomorrow. You’re going to be sorry when you wake up.”
“I’m fine!” I pressed my lips together in an attempt to hide the silly smile that wanted to twist my mouth. “Stop looking at me like that. With your eyes and your laughter.”
Sam snorted. “Poppy, you’re cut off. One more drink and you’ll be on the dance floor, pretending you’re a pirate.”
“One time!” I glared at him. “I did that one time, Sammy!”
“What’d you do one time?” Sara appeared at my side and laughed when I jumped. “Well, whatspecificallydid you do one time? I know plenty you’ve done one time.”
“What are you doing here?” I stood up and hugged her, something I never would’ve done sober. “You hate sports!”
Sara wrapped her arm around my shoulder and looked around the table at the guys. “I’m here on a date. He doesn’t hate sports, unfortunately. I couldn’t help noticing my bestie screaming at the TV from across the room, though. My date caught me staring at you and I pretended not to know you so he wouldn’t think I was crazy too. He’s in the bathroom so I can only stay for a moment.”
The guys laughed and Jude even winked at Sara. “Good idea. Being associated with this one is hard.”
I turned to Sara, ignoring them. “Is it a good date?”
She blushed. “I mean it’s not like anything you’ve experienced, but it may end in some baseball, if you know what I mean.”
I cheered for her, excited for my friend to find someone acceptable for her. She was picky and sometimes it felt like she’d never settle down. “I guess you don’t hateallsports!”
She high-fived me and we bumped hips before she ducked down and giggled. “He’s back. I’ve got to go! I’ll tell you everything at school tomorrow.”
I stood on my tiptoes to get a look at her date and whistled. “Sara got herself a hottie. Wow. Look at those muscles. And that hair!”
Our waiter appeared with another pitcher of beer and grinned at me. “If you wanted to dance, all you had to do was ask.”
I laughed and sank back into my seat. “I was spying on a friend. She’s the one over there with the real hot guy. The one with the muscles.”
It was at that moment that I realized I had four men frowning back at me. I looked around the table and sighed. “What’d I do?”
The waiter left me alone with my three grumpy best friends and I considered the pros and cons of taking him up on that dance, just to get away from our table. Cyrus slung his arm around the back of my chair and glared down at me, but it was Jude who spoke up first.
“What the hell was that?”
I felt my cheeks burn and rubbed at them. “What was what?”
Sam scoffed. “That guy isn’t all that great. We’re all built better than that guy.”
My mouth fell open and a giggle slipped out. That’s when I accepted that I was too drunk for my own good. “Of course you’re all built better than that guy. Duh. There’s more muscle at this table than at the Olympics. I can’t just stand here and whistle at the three of you, though.”
Cyrus grunted. “Try and see. You’re normally so busy busting our balls that a compliment might just blow us all over.”
I stood up and planted my hands on the table, leaning too far forward. “I don’t bust anyone’s balls. I resent the implication.”
Sam opened his mouth but shut it when I held up my finger. His eyes flashed behind his glasses, but I could see him fighting a smile.
“Since it seems I’ve offended you all, allow me to rectify my actions.” I turned to Cyrus. “You have the sexiest thighs I’ve ever felt—seen. You’re thick with two Cs. If you know, you know.”
Cyrus’s face actually turned red as he stared up at me with a slack jaw. Before he could respond, I moved on.
“And you, with your abs. Jesus, Jude. I’m only a woman at the end of the day. Those things should be considered weapons against women because I swear my ovaries hurt when you take your shirt off.” Turning to Sam last, I leaned even farther over the table. “And you, Sammy, have the hottest arms and hands I’ve ever seen. The rest of you is hot too, don’t worry, but your hands are porn for a woman.”
The table was silent as I finished. None of them moved a single muscle or uttered a single sound. I booped Sam on the nose and stood up, happy with myself.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to pee and then go home. I’m working with power tools tomorrow and I’d hate to lose an arm because I was too hungover to function properly.” I looked over at Sara and whistled at her. “Sara! I hope you hit a home run, babe! That’s baseball speak for all the way, in case you didn’t know the term!”
