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“I know. I’ve been trying to find the time to talk to you about this, but I know you hate talking about your own feelings, at least the ones that aren’t anger. I’ve been watching you talk about the guys for years and I’ve always thought there was more there, but seeing you the last couple of weeks has blown my mind. You love them, Poppy.”
Anxiety tingles came over me in waves. “They’re my best friends. Of course I love them.”
“Poppy! You know what I’m saying. I’m only saying something because I’m worried if I don’t spring it on you first, if one of the guys does, you’ll literally find a grenade and detonate it to get out of the situation. You need time to adjust to big feelings and I’m trying to make sure you have that time.” She rushed on. “You have feelings for them. It’s so evident. It’s also evident that they have feelings for you too. I know that everything with Andrew hurt you, but it’s time to open up.”
My throat felt like it was closing up. Swallowing and clearing my throat more than once, I blew out a shaky breath and forced a smile. “They’re my friends. End of story.”
“Can you imagine never kissing them again? What if you never got to hug them? Or cuddle in bed with them? I won’t even mention the sex, because no one would want to give that up. But what about the other little things? Sam holding your hand or Jude coming here during his lunch hour multiple times, even though he only gets to see you for around five minutes because of the drive? What about the flowers from Cyrus and the way he told you to call him daddy?”
I choked at her last question and when I was finally able to breathe again, I shook my head at her. “Don’t just throw that word out there like that. You could kill a woman.”
“Daddy and love. Who knew those would be your trigger words?” Standing up, she stretched. “Are you sure you and your dad have a good relationship?”
“I’ve never wanted to hit you before this moment.” I glared at her. “And no, I’m not sure my dad and I have a good relationship, because when he calls I’m terrified it might be my mom so I don’t answer. Thanks for bringing that up.”
She threw her head back and laughed. “I’ll talk to him after I join the family.”
I felt like she’d just thrown me through a washing machine and she looked as peaceful as ever. Moving toward the door, I just kept frowning at her. “I’m going to go pack up some more of my room. And avoid you.”
“You won’t be able to avoid me if I become your sister-in-law, Poppy.”
I grimaced. “I’m telling Charlie that you have vagina teeth.”
“And I’m telling the guys that you love them and want to have their perfect little babies.”
Freezing, I considered my options. Throwing her out the window wouldn’t do much since we were on the first floor. Her trash can was too small to shove her in. She’d even already packed up all her pencils so there were no sharp objects. “You’re only saved because I don’t see an immediate weapon to take you out with.”
“Yeah, yeah. Just think about what I said.”
“How can I not, Sara? You’re a monster.” Groaning, I left her in her room and went back to hiding in mine.
She was crazy. Feelings for the guys? That would be messy. We weren’t doing feelings. We were just hooking up. The guys didn’t settle down, and feelings would ruin our friendship. So, Sara was just wrong. That was all there was to it.
When I shut my classroom door and locked it, though, I knew that I was physically trying to get away from the thoughts she’d put in my head. I turned some music on and did my best to drown out the fears she’d brought to life for me.
45
***Poppy***
Cyruspulledmeintohis lap, unconcerned about how sweaty we both were. “You played a good game, babygirl.”
I wrapped my arm around his neck and grinned. “Thank you. I wanted to make sure Charlie was embarrassed in front of Sara. Even the playing field some after last weekend.”
He tucked his hand between my thighs and laughed. “The playing field is just fine. I don’t know how many times I caught Charlie checking her out.”
I made a face but I was happy for Sara. I just hoped Charlie had grown out of his player ways. I gently tugged at Cyrus’s hair as I considered it. “Charlie used to be a manwhore, just like you guys, right?”
He let out a bark of laughter that shook me on his lap. “Where’s this going?”
“Do you think he can change? Really? If he did like Sara and they started dating, do you think he would be loyal and stay with her?” I took a deep breath when I felt myself getting worked up. “I just…I don’t want to see Sara get hurt. If she could see the ending and knew it was bad, maybe she’d want to avoid it.”
The sounds of shoes squeaking on the court and a basketball dribbling filled the air around us as Sam and Jude continued playing with Paulie and my other brother, Johnny. Sara had to leave to pick up something from her dad’s house and Charlie had insisted that he just had to run to grab something from his truck. Of course, he hadn’t needed anything from his truck until Sara was headed toward the parking lot.
Cyrus cupped my chin and brought my face down to his. “There isn’t a thing a man wouldn’t do for the woman he wants.”
My body erupted in butterflies.
“I don’t know how Charlie feels or will feel one day about Sara, or any other woman, but if he decides he wants that woman, nothing will stop him. Any past he might’ve had won’t exist anymore. The idea of going to bed with a hundred different women won’t mean shit when you can crawl into bed with the one woman who means the world.” He leaned closer and spoke against my lips, hovering just before a kiss. “I would tell Sara that if she thinks Charlie wouldn’t be loyal to her, she’s crazy. I would tell her that even if she’s terrified, she should jump in with both feet because Charlie will catch her.”
