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52
***Poppy***
“Iwroteyouthreehundred and sixty five letters. I wrote you every day for a year…” I recited the lines with Noah. “It wasn’t over. It still isn’t over.”
I threw a handful of popcorn at the TV and shoved another in my mouth.
“Don’t believe him, Allie. It’s a trap. It’s all a trap.” I grabbed my can of whipped cream and sprayed a glob into my mouth. “They don’t actually keep trying. You throw one little fit and they just give up on you. Talking about birds, they fly away faster than birds, don’t they?”
The characters ofThe Notebookhadn’t started answering me, so I hadn’t completely lost my mind, but it was getting dicey. Lying in my bed with food all around me, some eaten and some not, I had never been more disgusting or more confused by my life.
I groaned and searched for the remote so I could change the movie. I’d watched it a dozen times already and I knew I needed to step away from it. I found the remote under an empty bag of chips and groaned. Disgusting.
Flipping through the channels, I sawSnappedand put it on. Immediately, my bedroom was filled with the sounds of people fighting as a narrator spoke of their tumultuous relationship. Much better and more realistic thanThe Notebook.
I had half a Little Debbie cupcake shoved in my mouth when my phone rang. I dove for it, sending snack cakes and trash flying in every direction. It’d been six days and four hours since I’d heard from the guys, not that I was counting. With our hangout session always planned for the next day, I knew they would call me. We were still friends, even if we weren’t more… They had to call.
A number I didn’t have saved flashed across my phone screen but I still held out hope. “Hello?”
Disappointment, hot and cloying, filled me when Andrew’s voice answered. “Finally! I’ve been trying to get in touch with you to apologize for the way I showed up unannounced, Poppy. Why haven’t you answered any of my calls?”
“I’m hanging up, Andrew.”
“I called off the wedding!”
I hesitated. He’d called off the wedding? Was he serious?
“I called off the wedding, Poppy, and I need to talk to you about it.” Andrew rushed on, knowing that he didn’t have much time. “Will you please meet me so we can talk?”
“We have nothing to talk about, Andrew.” I looked up at the TV just as a dramatization showed a woman shooting a man. Feeling creepy, I changed the channel and muted it.
“We do. Ever since I saw you at your aunt’s house, I’ve been mixed up, Poppy. Seeing you again at your house just solidified those feelings.” He lowered his voice and I recognized it as the tactic he’d used for almost a decade to sweeten me up. “I haven’t been able to get you off my mind.”
I snorted. “I suggest bleach and elbow grease, buddy. Other than that, I’ve got nothing for you.”
“Poppy, I’m serious. I left Kaitlyn for you. I need to see you.”
“No, you don’t. Youneedto lose my number and leave me alone. Youneedto go back to Texas and forget my family exists. Hopefully, that way your next girlfriend isn’t related to me.”
“I’m not giving up on you, Poppy. You loved me for years and I know there has to be a part of that love left in you.” He sounded so sure of himself. “It’s fair of you to make me work for you. After the way I ended things last time…”
I couldn’t help it; I gagged. “Oh, choke on it, Andrew. The only thing I have in me for you is gas and that’ll go away soon enough too. Goodbye, Andrew. Have a life.”
Hanging up on him, I immediately wrote off the interaction and scrolled through my phone, looking for any sign that the guys had reached out. Of course, there was nothing. I called Sara for probably the hundredth time and ate more whipped cream.
“Poppy, I swear to god.” Sara answered right away. “If you are calling me and you still haven’t talked to the guys, I’m hanging up.”
“Why do I have to call them? They promised nothing would change.” I rolled out of bed and went into the bathroom to pee. “I can’t help it if I don’t want to be in a relationship with them.”
“The thing is, Poppy, I know you’re not dumb. You’re a smart woman. But this is the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard of. I’m done being nice.” That much was clear. “Are you so messed up that you really believe you don’t want them? I mean, is your head that far up your own ass?”
I paused while getting toilet paper. “What the hell, Sara?”
“It’s a real question. Do you really think you don’t want to be with them?”
“Some things don’t just heal. Maybe I’ll never heal after Andrew. Maybe I’m supposed to be alone. My heart just… It just has these walls and they seem permanent.”
“You’re an idiot.” She growled. “Your heart isn’t the part of you that’s broken. It’s your brain. You’re too scared to let your heart have what it wants.”
