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“That's the Domme talking,” Bodie responded in a sing-song voice. “You're batting on the submissive side now, right, so you need to think like one. How does the submissive side of Connie feel about what Master Atticus has done?”
Lying would be so easy, or so Connie thought. When it came down to it, she found she couldn't. “Relieved.”
“There you go. It's nice not to be the one having to make decisions, right? I'm not dominant, but before Braun came into my life, I carried so much responsibility, it almost crushed me. Trying to find rent, the money to pay off my parents whenever they came around to kick me, some spare change for the utility bills. I failed at all that, because I took too much on and refused to ask for help. I sold all my furniture to try to live just a bit longer like that, and almost died on a shitty mattress in a cold, damp apartment that had nothing left of me in it.” Bodie's eyes flicked up, then back to Connie. “Braun changed all that for me. He didn't make me feel like less of a woman because he took control. He made me feel like the woman I was meant to be, because he took control and gave me an opportunity to grow into her.”
“I let Atticus top me,” Connie confessed. “Last week. It was the first time in over ten years, and…God, it felt really good. Hard, a lot harder than I expected it to be. Once I stopped—” She cut herself off, took a deep breath.
Boadicea wasn't shy, however, about digging for details. “Once you stopped fighting him? I bet that was a hoot to watch. Dom versus Domme, the ultimate battle for control. He's not a Master I'd want to go head-to-head with, that's a given. Braun's bad enough when he gets his boxers in a knot.” She grinned, and her eyes flicked up again. “So, did you sleep with him? Atticus, that is, not Braun.”
“He…we…” Christ, she was tripping up over her own tongue. How could it be harder to admit to having sex with Atticus than it was acknowledging she'd allowed him to take charge?
“You don't have to say it out loud, Connie,” the insightful little minx in the bed said gently. “I can see it on your face. Did he take care of you, at least? I've heard some of the other subs tell stories about how rough he can be, and according to them, he's remarkably well-endowed.” She added a saucy little eyebrow wiggle. “As someone who regularly gets attended to by a well-endowed penis, I understand how demolished you can feel afterwards.”
Demolished. Yes, that was a good descriptor. “His reputation isn't an understatement,” Connie muttered, closing her eyes and leaning her head back. “I think it's left us in an awkward position. I don't know how to look at him now. We've seen each other naked, which wouldn't be an issue if we weren't both dominant.”
Bodie lifted her left hand, palm up flat. “Man.” Then the right. “Woman.” She clapped them together. “Don't get hung up on the dynamic of who you are. He's not going to see you any differently now than he did before, because you're still the same person, Connie. Just because you're dipping your toes into submission doesn't mean everyone's going to forget you're a kick-ass Domme.”
“I'm not dipping my toes, Bodie.” Connie swallowed and opened her eyes, meeting her friend's curious gaze. “I'm a Switch.”
“Really? Huh, that has to be kinda cool, right? I mean, I love being submissive, but sometimes I wonder what it's like to put the bossy pants on and be in charge. You get to experience both sides of a dynamic—that must be why you're so good as a Domme. You understand what it's like to be on the receiving end of dominance.”
Stunned by Bodie's immediate acceptance, Connie stared. “I'm not one thing or the other, I—”
Big blue eyes rolled in exasperation. “Who said you had to be? Best of both worlds, Connie. If you've had a shit day at work, you don't have to worry about getting into the dominant headspace for a scene. You find a partner and let him flog the bad stuff away. And on a day when you feel really good and want to focus all your energy on making someone else feel the same way, you can share the love. For a woman who tells everyone not to overcomplicate things, you're doing a number on yourself, Con. Chill out and let yourself enjoy it.”
She gave serious thought to spilling everything about her time with Evan, explaining why submission wasn't easy for her to enjoy. How it scared her, losing control after so long with her hands on the reins, and giving the meeker part of her into someone else's care. But Evan had cropped up in conversation one too many times in the last twenty-four hours, and cost her a night's sleep after the nightmares reared their ugly heads.
“I'm really hoping you're not telling me Master Atticus did something to you last night to make you safeword?”
“What? No, no, that was Thane, and he didn't do anything to—it wasn't his fault. I panicked and…I said red.”
Wriggling in place, Bodie's eyes went huge with excitement. “Okay, now I'm intrigued. Who is Thane, and what did he do? All these new members keep joining, and I don't know any of them.”
How did she explain Thane? “I don't know much about him, to be honest. I met him at the bar last night, then Atticus drafted him for Operation Dominate Connie, so I guess he has Att's stamp of approval. He seems like a good guy, he’s assertive, and he doesn’t come across as being a newbie. I forgot how frightening it can be, submitting to a Dom I don't know. I freaked out, Thane backed off straight away and told me to safeword. I guess he understood it would calm me down.”
“Wow. Is he a saint or something?”
“No. Not with that mouth,” Connie muttered, remembering the brief touch of his tongue on her pussy, the words he'd used to arouse her. “Maybe Atticus told him not to push me too hard, I don't know.”
“Um, I don't know if he'd interfere that far with someone else's scene. It's a Dom's prerogative to assess a sub and guide the scene where he thinks it should go, right? I don't think Thane was reading off Atticus's script; I think he was reading off yours.” Bodie ran her fingers through her hair, combing the black locks into tidier order. “Did he drop you after you safeworded? Like, call it quits for the night?”
Strong arms around her, holding her tight. Warm skin against her back, silk boxers and a thick erection against her ass. Peaceful silence soothing her inner turmoil. “Not exactly, no.”
“Oh, I like him. Tell me more.”
Connie laughed. Bodie was a sponge, soaking in all the gossip. “We did a lot of talking. Well, Thane did. I was pretty useless at the whole conversation thing, but he has a way of getting me to talk. It's like he wears patience as a second skin. He got me, really got me. He tucked me up in bed and slid in behind me. Held me. Just held me for an hour,” she murmured.
“Seriously? Connie, I'm a taken woman and I couldn't be happier, but I'm pretty sure you should snap him up before one of the other subs gets a whiff of him.” Bodie smiled at something over Connie's shoulder, her eyes dilating with pleasure. “There's no point fighting the right one when you find him.”
As the hairs on the back of her neck prickled, Connie shot to her feet. Goddamn it, she'd stayed too long, caught up in the trap of girl talk. She narrowed her eyes at Bodie. “Well played, Boadicea.”
“Sorry, Connie. The boss gave me orders. Don't be mad at the pregnant woman,” she added, blowing Connie a kiss.
“Sit your butt back down on the couch, Constance.” Braun ordered from behind her, his tone brooking no argument. “You were supposed to come and find me last night.”
“Unfair advantage, using your pregnant lover to lure me in, Braun.” Instead of sitting, Connie turned to face him, crossing her arms over her chest and glowering. “Last night, I was tired, and I wanted to go home, so home I went.”
The tall Master was leaning against the wall, one hand in his pocket. He wore an unreadable expression, dark blue eyes watching her as though he'd never seen her before. It was that look she didn't want to see on the faces of everyone she knew, and it was inevitable. “So, you're still in there. Thought I must have lost you when I walked into that room last night.”
