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Running her finger over my toiletries, she slowly takes in the little I have and turns to me.
“I don’t usually offer my help, so I’m going to give you some time to think on it.”
Suspicion weighs heavily over me as to why, but I nod my thanks.
“Who was your visitor?”
Feeling like I have to give her something, I say, “My mother.”
“Ah, I get it. Mothers are so overrated. What did she do to upset you?”
My chest tightens as I replay the visit in my head, and fight not to cry in front of her.
“My mum’s looking after my son while I’m in here, and she told me she’s not letting me see him when I get out.”
Even repeating it hours later, the pain is still as fresh. I can’t bear to even think of living without him.
“Can she do that?”
“She said if I make trouble, she’ll consult a solicitor.”
I’m in here because of lack of money. She knows I can’t afford legal counsel.
“Do you beat your kid or something?” she asks calmly.
“What? No!” I nearly shriek.
Even the thought of Thomas being harmed makes me feel sick, even murderous.
“Then no court will take him from you,” she assures. “So, you got a fella?”
Being that her questions seem innocent enough, I tell her, “No.”
Picking up Lucy’s sketch book, she flips through the pages. “These are pretty good. Yours?”
“No.”
She takes notice of how I’m watching her every move, and laughs.
“You don’t have to be afraid of me. I’m not here because you’ve upset me. I saw what happened, and I wanted to check in. Contrary to my reputation, I’m not a complete bitch. And if there’s one thing I don’t like, it’s mothers who hurt their kids.”
I relax somewhat. “I’m sorry. It’s just… I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I miss my son, I hate this place—”
“That’s because you hide in here every day. It’s not as bad as you think if you have the right people around you.”
Again, not wanting to offend her, I simply nod in agreement, though I don’t fully agree. The right kind of people in her mind are the same people that scare the crap out of me.
“Come on. We’ve still got some time in the rec room before lights out.”
This time, I can’t stop myself from tensing my shoulders. My heart races, wondering what the hell she’s up to, and again, she notices.
“The first thing you should know about me is, I’m not a fake arse bitch. I don’t play games. If I wanted to hurt you, I would. So, you can stop looking at me like that.”
Trying to school my features, I force a smile. “Are you sure?”
“If I weren’t, I wouldn’t be here.”
She exits my cell and waits out on the landing. How the hell did this happen? Running my hands through my hair, I take a moment to push down my nerves. I’ll admit, I’m naïve in a lot of ways. My life has been mostly smooth sailing, but stepping into this brick jungle of criminals, I expect the worst at all times. It doesn’t matter where I am, what I’m doing, or if there are screws around. A fight can kick off at any moment over the smallest slight. I’ve tried not to catch anyone’s eye, and I keep my judgements to myself.
