AllFreeNovel
Share Us
That’s the point.
The prospect throws open the side door, and I jump out before the others. Walking inside, Evie is the first one I see, sitting on a couch with a sleeping Thomas lying beside her, his head nestled on her lap. I can see so clearly, I’m no good for them. I tried, but I can’t be something I’m not.
I’m not good. I’ve hurt far too many people to believe this shit would never happen again.
When her eyes land on me, her mouth falls open, but she quickly closes it. Getting up, she shoves her jacket under Thomas’s head and stops short when I take a step back. Watching her run her beautiful gaze up and down my body, taking in all the blood, my heart thrums like one of those little birdies I see sometimes out in the country, and I clench my hands at my sides.
“Thank you,” she breathes, finally meeting my eyes.
“You were right to question me. The moment I saw you, I should’ve looked the other way. I thought I’d be able to love you and find the same kind of happiness everyone else seems to have, but I was wrong. I’m not good… not for you or Thomas. Rest assured, you’ll be safe now. The man who took him is dead.”
“That’s his blood?”
“It’s not mine.”
She covers her mouth with her hand, and it’s then I finally admit to myself that this will never work between us.
“You can’t love Psycho, but I’m him, through and through.”
“Louis…”
I move back before she can attempt to come closer.
“Mayhem will take you home,” I tell her, taking a deep breath. “And you won’t see me again. You know deep down this is for the best.”
“No, you’re wrong.”
A tear rolls down her cheek. I can’t bear to see her pain. Turning my back on her, I focus on the door, ordering myself not to lose it in front of her. Only, she grabs onto my sleeve and stops me. I spin around so fast, she stumbles back.
“Go home!” I roar.
Fear. Terror. I see it all flash through her eyes, but she remains where she is, standing her ground. Leaning close enough that she can smell the blood dried on my face, I sneer, “If you don’t leave now, you’ll learn everything you never wanted to know about me.”
I turn and head for the back door. She doesn’t try to stop me, and I don’t attempt to look back.
Inhaling the crisp morning air, I fill my lungs with it, but it does fuck all to slow my racing mind. Every dark thought, every violent act I’ve committed, I’ve felt nothing. But forcing her to leave, that shit hurts like nothing has ever hurt before.
I can barely open my hand and spread my fingers without pain shooting out and around my knuckles. I’ve lost the fucking lot, but there’s nothing I can do to change who I am.
I’m no fucking good.
No. Good.
“Psy, you need to get showered and get your shit in the burning bin. You’re covered in so much evidence, it’d put you away for the rest of your life.”
I see Chaos. I hear him. But I can’t process enough to respond.
I want to lash out and make him feel my pain, but that’s not right. It’s not his pain to bear, I know this. Yet the urge is becoming overwhelming.
“I’ve never asked you for anything,” I say, the words taking too much energy to speak.
Coming toward me, he’s on it, asking, “What do you need, brother? Name it, and it’s yours.”
Staring at the man I trust with my life, my shoulders sag. “Knock me out, or I’m going to hurt everyone.”
Knowing me so well, that I mean every word, he steps closer and sighs. Not a sigh of disbelief, or because I’m being dramatic, but because he knows he’ll do it, foreseeing the carnage I’ll inflict before I crash and burn myself out.
“Done.”
His large fist hurtles toward my chin. I don’t move. I don’t flinch. I take the blow, and I’m out before I hit the ground.
