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“Enjoying yourself?” he asks, as we turn slowly to the music.
“It’s been a great day,” I reply. “Apart from the earthquake.”
“Yeah, that could have gone a lot worse.” He steers me out of the way of another couple, then says, “You’ve danced with Damon a lot tonight.”
“He’s light on his feet. It’s nice to dance with a guy who isn’t self-conscious on the floor.”
“True.” He smiles. He’s trimmed his beard neatly, and he had his hair cut yesterday. He’s a good-looking guy for his age.
“I know about you and Sherry,” I blurt out.
His eyebrows rise. “What do you mean?”
“I know that you had an affair first. Before Mum did.”
We stop dancing, and he stares at me. I wait for him to deny it, and to tell me that Mum’s a liar.
But he doesn’t. “That’s true,” he says.
My face flushes. “You should have told me. All these years, I’ve blamed Mum for breaking up your marriage.”
He lowers his hands, gestures with his head, and I follow him off the floor, to one side. He slides his hands into his pockets, and studies the floor. Light beams from the stage sweep across us in rainbow colors. There’s glitter in the air from the balloons held in a net above the floor that will be released later on. The music is loud, but we’re near the back, and I can just hear him when he speaks.
“I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life,” he says. “Not being there for your mother when she needed me is one of the biggest ones. Living with someone who has depression is hard, Belle. It’s a selfish condition, and it overwhelms everyone and everything around it. It’s like living close to a black hole, and it’s impossible not to get sucked in.”
I’m breathing fast, shocked by the words it’s taken him years to say.
“Your mum’s career was taking off,” he says. “She was hardly ever home, and when she was, she was exhausted. She had no time for me, and I was lonely and resentful. Was I the perfect husband? No, of course not. But I’m only human. Sherry and I fought our attraction, but she was there, and so loving, so easy, and your mum was so difficult, Belle. So difficult. I hated her back then, and I hate her now because she made me turn to someone else for affection. And that led to her going with that man, and he hurt my little girl, and I’ll never, ever forgive her for that. I know it’s ridiculous and unfair, but it’s how I feel, and how I suspect I’ll always feel. Does that make sense?”
I think about what Damon said:Sometimes I’m sure vengeance plays a part. But mostly I think it’s about solace. Relationships can be tough, and when things are hard, people look elsewhere for comfort. And then I think about Alex’s wise words:Everyone’s doing their best. Some people are just better at it than others.
“I know she was difficult,” I say. “She still is. And I know things weren’t good between you at the time. But she was ill and struggling, and you hurt her, Dad. So, just like you did, she looked elsewhere for comfort, and she fell in love, and then the guy she chose let her down in the worst possible way. You could never hate her as much as she hates herself. So just think about that the next time you talk to her.”
His brow creases. “Ah, Belle…”
“All this blame and guilt,” I say, tears pricking my eyes. “If I can put it behind me, why can’t you two?”
“Baby…” He moves up close and puts his arms around me.
I rest my cheek on his shoulder, squeezing my eyes shut, trying not to cry. I’ve had such a lovely day. I shouldn’t have mentioned it to him, but it just came out.
I open my eyes, and even though he’s on the other side of the dance floor, I see Damon immediately. He’s standing on his own, a whisky glass in his hand, the other hand in his pocket, watching me. He doesn’t smile—he’s obviously guessed that I’m upset.
I move back from my father and look up at him. “Promise me you’ll try,” I say.
“I promise.”
The song has ended, and now the band is playingI Feel it Comingby The Weeknd. I love this song, and I kiss Dad’s cheek, then walk across the dance floor. Damon sees me coming and turns to place his glass on the nearest table.
Freddie steps in my way and says, “Wanna dance, Belle?”
I shake my head though and say, “Sorry, I’m taken,” and I step around him and continue on to Damon.
He smiles as I approach and holds out his hand. I slide mine into his, feeling as if I’m coming home, and let him lead me onto the dance floor. Without talking, we start dancing, and my heart lifts as he turns me around, the two of us moving together effortlessly.
When the song changes, this time to Marvin Gaye’sSexual Healing, Damon doesn’t release me. Instead, he pulls me close to him and slides his arms around my waist. I loop mine around his neck and look up into his eyes.
Thirty seconds later, someone releases the net above our heads, and pink and silver balloons float down onto the dancers, along with fluttering hearts and sparkling glitter. We both laugh, turning to the music, and then I look up again into his beautiful brown eyes, and suddenly I want him more than anything in the world.
