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I knew his feelings were real. They had to be. He risked his life to get to me when Julian had ahold of me. He could have been killed right in front of my eyes. That’s not the actions of a man who feels nothing for the person he’s trying to protect. But he still lied when we flew to New York. He was hiding something from me. What couldn’t he tell me? What can he still not tell me?
He says he can explain. But he’s right to hope I will let him try. Because with each day that passes, the dull ache that’s in my gut grows.
Time makes the heart grow fonder, supposedly. But all I feel is mine closing him out more and more.
What choice do I have? I ping-pong between being so mad at him I want to call him up just to scream at him, to also knowing that if I did, the sound of his voice could be the final thing to break me.
And I’ve spent so many years being broken.
It’s time to leave it in the past.
Four weeks later
“This guy’s turning into a simp for you, Sis.”
“Shut up, Brett,” Harley scolds as she carries in the box from the porch and walks past him to hand it to me. “Aren’t you going to open it?” she asks when I put it down on the kitchen table and go back to making my sandwich.
“Don’t need to. I know what’s in it.”
“The question is, will this be white or blue?” Brett grins, waggling his eyebrows.
“For someone who’s supposedly intelligent, you’re a real dork, you know that?” Harley tuts as she starts to open the box.
“He’s all excited like a puppy because Lena’s back from her vacation.” I stick my tongue out at Brett. He’s been a nightmare these last two weeks while Lena’s been away. He had a stand-in therapist while she was gone, and I swear I’ve never heard him complain so much. The poor guy who had to work with him sure had his work cut out.
“She didn’t decide to stay away, then? Escape while she could.”
“Ha, the fuck, ha,” Brett says to Harley as she lifts the lid off the box.
A single white balloon floats out until it reaches the ceiling. I glance at it and then go back to spreading jelly on my bread.
“For infinity,” Harley hums.
She’s holding the photograph on the end of the silver ribbon between her fingertips with a museful smile on her face.
“He’s romantic, I’ll give him that. Makes me think of Reed singing to me.”
“Oh, God,” Brett groans, but Harley ignores him. She knows he approves of Reed. Everyone does. My family loves him. They welcomed him the second she brought him home to meet everyone.
The way they did with Dax.
I cough, attempting to dislodge the lump. I’ve been back from England for over a month, and the damn thing still isn’t budging. I’m going to have to start charging it rent for taking permanent residence.
I spin, sandwich in hand, and walk across the kitchen toward the door.
“Where are you going?” Harley asks.
“Out with Case,” I reply through a mouthful of peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “We’re going to the mall and then the movies.”
Harley looks at me and nods happily. Casey’s been amazing since I came back. We’ve spent hours talking. About everything. Even her new boyfriend, Josh. Everything that happened with Dax. I told her that Jasmin said he’s been going to therapy to talk about finding out Julian is his biological father. And that Sophie said Julian isn’t getting off. She’s sure of it. She says they have enough to put him away for years.
But despite all that, Dax still hasn’t come.
He hasn’t come to explain, like he said he would in that first note. All I’ve gotten are balloons. Hot air when all I want is the truth.
Harley stops me before I pass her. “Don’t forget this.”
“Thanks,” I mutter, taking the silver ribbon from her.
