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I nod slowly. “The two-bedroom, right?”
“Yeah. It’s currently unoccupied since I bought the house. I haven’t rented it out yet, but it’s been fully renovated,” he says. “I was thinking I could rent it to her. No need for a deposit and the monthly rent would be below the market, just until she gets back on her feet. Paying off her student loans ahead of time was a monstrous effort to begin with.”
“She deserves room to heal and rest,” I agree. “You could present it to her and see what she says. Just emphasize that it’s not a freebie or anything.”
Matthew smiles, staring at the dark burgundy wine in his mug, chunks of caramelized orange and cinnamon sticks floating on the surface. “I didn’t think anything would actually happen between us. Even after she split up with Kieran. Selina always seemed to be this inaccessible creature that I was dying to touch but couldn’t.”
“You held back last night.”
“I did. I don’t know why. It’s not like I didn’t want to.”
“You’re falling for her. Pretty quickly, might I add,” I reply with a grin.
He raises an eyebrow at me. “Pot, meet kettle. Same goes for that dweeb out there still trying to teach her how to ski without potentially breaking her neck.”
We laugh and let the conversation flow organically as we keep watching Selina with Jason. He is so patient and kind with her—then again, Jason was always the sunny one in our outfit. Very little about him has changed over the years, and his kindness and good spirit never faded. I can see it in his eyes, the feelings swirling, swallowing her whole. And I can see it in Selina’s eyes, too, the affection and the brightly-spirited energy that flows between them.
She is all smiles and giggles, even when she falls and he helps her get back up on her skis. Then she frowns and bites her lower lip whenever Jason touches her back or her waist. I spot the flickers of desire that burn beneath those smiles and giggles. She focuses on skiing for as long as she can before she and Jason exchange glances, and she loses all focus, slips and drops once more.
That’s the issue out there. She can’t concentrate on skiing when he’s close to her. It would be the same with me, the same with Matthew. We do have an effect on her, that much is obvious. And there’s no denying that she, in turn, has an effect on us. I like it.
My gaze wanders to a small group of people on the other side of the slope. They’ve just come up the mountain, and they’re watching the others slide down, skis swaying left and right as they pick up speed. However, there’s one person in particular that has grabbed my attention. The familiar face hits me like a hammer to the chest, like a brick over the back of my head. “Matthew,” I whisper, unable to look away from her. Even from afar, it’s impossible not to recognize her.
“What is it?”
“Cynthia,” I manage.
Clearly, it’s her. The long, brown hair flowing from under a plush, off-white winter hat. The piercing, dark brown eyes. The full, glossy pink lips. The energy emanating from her—the tension rising and eating away at everyone around her. Despite the thick winter clothes she’s wearing, I know my eyes are not deceiving me.
Matthew follows my gaze. “Where?”
I search his face but I don’t see the same dread that I’m feeling in this moment. I shift my focus back to the scattering group of people. She’s gone.
“She was there. It was her,” I tell him.
“I don’t see her. We haven’t heard anything in a year,” he says. “I doubt she’d come back here.”
“I know what I saw.”
He gives me a stern look. “Let’s keep it between us for now. Selina can’t ever know. It’ll destroy us.”
That much we can both agree on. The ghosts of the past never return with good tidings nor innocent intentions. We did wrong on plenty of levels, but the kind of relationship we’re trying to build with Selina can be our second chance, an opportunity for us to do better, tobebetter. It will inevitably blow up in our faces if we let the past bleed into the present.
Matthew is right. Selina can never know.
8
Selina
It’s only four in the afternoon, and already I’m exhausted.
I needed today; I need all of this, every day, for as long as winter lasts. Frankly, I don’t want it to ever end. It feels so good to get away from everything—my life, my job, my chaos. For the first time in what seems like forever, I get to simply unwind and ‘play stupid games and win stupid prizes,’ as the saying goes. My muscles are sore, my thighs and calves burning as I peel the clothes off my body and sink into the tub filled with hot water and lavender essence.
The guys are downstairs, getting ready to drive to the store and do some grocery shopping. The weather forecast predicts a snowy December looming just around the corner, so it’s good to be as prepared as possible for when the inevitable blizzard does hit the Aspen mountains. I don’t mind the alone time, besides, Jason needs a breather after everything he had to endure with me out on the ski slope. The man has the patience of a saint while I’m the proud owner of two uncoordinated feet. I shouldn’t be so out of shape, but after I had to leave tennis behind, it became easy to avoid making time for fitness.
I should get back into it, eventually, if only for my future health. Until then, I’ll just settle into this steaming, fragranced water and let myself relax while I read a few more pages out of Cynthia’s diary. I’ve got at least a couple of hours on my own, so I might as well indulge in this new, guilty pleasure.
“Oh, man, this feels good,” I mutter as the heat seeps through my skin, gradually unwinding me like an old, beat-up clock.
