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"I'll take the silence as a no," he sighed and turned to leave. "Make sure you don't forget. All your attention and focus must be with me."
Just like last time, I didn't reply. He left the room, and I locked it behind him. I let out a sigh of relief and took off my bra.
Ian is here.
I found myself grinning.
A month had passed, and I dedicated my time to forgetting about him, but nothing happened.
When I went through the list and saw Ethan's name, my heart skipped a beat. I wondered if I could get to meet the real Ethan and find out how Ian was doing as I had still been unable to reach out to him.
Rachel said that since he had not reached out to me, it was a sign that he had lost interest. Her statement had me fighting off a new wave of emotions. I had to promise her not to reach out to him. But I found myself almost doing it at times.
I had prepared myself to see Ethan. When I got to the event, I had heard people talking about him. I figured that Ethan was there.But, when I saw his face and he stared at me. I knew who he was before he even softly called my name.
I was happy to see him. I was a bit disappointed that he was acting as Ethan again. But seeing that part of him still had my heart doing the cartwheels. Even after a month, I found myself battling my feelings for two sides of the same person. Then Lawrence came, and I couldn't look at Ian anymore. I was embarrassed, ashamed that I couldn't do anything. When he mentioned the plans of marriage, and mocked Ian, I wanted to be buried alive instantly.
The hurt in Ian's eyes, stabbed me. Even when he gave us his heartfelt wishes, it felt like he was telling the both of us to separate. A wish I needed to be granted. It was not enough to think about his presence. What was I meant to do now that I saw him again? Question him or bring up that topic that made both of us to go our separate paths?
*****
The next day, I looked for him. Well, not like asking about him; I just kept my eyes open for any glimpse of him. Lawrence wasn't there to stop me, but I was distracted by the number of people who wanted to see me. After almost forty minutes of searching in vain, I went to take a seat. I assumed that he had left, maybe an emergency case like the one that had caused Lawrence to leave.
"You don't seem to have any company today," a voice remarked.
I looked up and saw Ian holding the program for today in one hand and his phone in the other. He was dressed sharply but at the same time professional, giving a sexy aura.
"That would seem to be the case," I replied. "The event asked us to come with a plus one. Won't it ruin your cover that the great social Ethan came here alone?"
"I've already answered that question. My wife wasn't able to come because she had work to do at her own hospital," he explained.
"You could have brought someone along," I insisted.
"I don't want the burden," he sighed. "Can I sit with you or is your boyfriend coming?"
"Don't call him that please," I groaned. "But yes, you can join me."
"Thank you," he said and took a seat next to me.
I cleared my throat and corrected my posture. I could feel his gaze. Compared to the discomfort I felt whenever Lawrence looked at me, I felt better. I wasn't even upset with him anymore. His staring was making feel giddy too. My arms, my neck, my ears, cheeks, thighs, then my cheeks again - that was the order in which he inspected my body.
I could feel my cheeks heat up.
"If you stare at me that hard, I might get pregnant," I teased them turned to look at him.
His gaze softened and a smile formed on his face as he looked away.
"Thank goodness," he muttered.
"What? Why are you thanking goodness?" I asked.
"I thought… I thought you'd hate me. Heck, I thought, you wouldn't even know the difference between Ethan and me," he replied.
The sheepish grin on his face was priceless.
"Well I do hate you," I said, and I watched his shoulders drop. "But like only thirty percent hate."
"Thats a lot of hate," he chuckled nervously.
