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“Yes, I am, because I hate the way you’re talking to me right now.”
I hated the way I was talking to her too. This was my Grazi. The woman was my whole universe and then some, and the last thing I wanted was to hurt her, but I was too angry, and I couldn’t let this go.
I stepped closer to her, only a thin strip of air left between us. She didn’t move.
“You left to the bathroom and then I couldn’t find you anywhere. You were gone when we were in the middle of a fucking war with your father. What do you think went through my head, Grazia? I died a thousand deaths until I realized you left on your own.”
The feelings came back to me. Pietro and I were cracking a bottle of fine wine when Chiara came back to the room red in the face, telling me that my wife was missing. My mind went to a dark place and that fear of losing her is going to haunt me for the rest of my life.
A few tears gathered in her waterlines, but she was too stubborn to let them go.
“I… I… I…”
“You what? You fucked up, Grazia Paulina.Per l’amor del cazzo[51], what were you thinking?”
“I was thinking about my brother.” She stubbornly declared.
“Maybe next time you’ll think about me, damn you!” The ugliness crawled up my throat and started bubbling. “I would bend destiny for you, I would fight fate. Is it too much to ask for a crumble of that in return? Is it too much to ask for the woman that sucks my dick every night, not to be my biggest problem?”
“Salvatore, stop it! If that’s how you want to act, I will leave. I’m not going to let you put me down for a mistake.”
“Really? What part bothered you? Me asking you for respect, or talking about you sucking my dick.”
She took a step back and I thought she was going to turn and try to run, but instead, her body leaned back enough for her to be able to slap me. Her hand was small, but fuck if it didn’t sting.
I touched the burning mark she left with my hand.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, Grazia.”
She slapped me again, harder this time. That fire burning was what I loved most about her, and what was going to kill me young.
“What are you going to do,DonFiori? What are you going to do to the stupid woman who shows you no respect? Are you going to hit me back?”
“What?” Her question was like a bucket of ice-cold water poured on my head. “I would never do that.”
“Wouldn’t you? Because right now I’m not so sure. It doesn’t feel like I’m talking to the Salvatore I loved all my life. It definitely doesn’t feel like I’m talking to the man I married because he would never let anyone insult me, not even himself. I don’t know this man standing in front of me and I don’t know what he’s capable of.”
Anger, frustration, more anger, I was dwelling in all of it.
“I will say this once and you should listen. It doesn’t matter what happens, how angry, how tired, or how drunk I am, I would never put my hands on you.”
To test my limits, she hit me again. This time I caught her wrists and kept her prisoner.
“Stop it, woman.”
“You stop it. Stop treating me like this. Yell, scream, be angry, I know I deserve that, but don’t talk to me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like I mean nothing to you. I can’t bearthat!”
This was laughable.
“You are my everything. How many times do I have to tell you that?” I told her with no hesitation.
“Then don’t treat me like less. How many times do I have to tell youthat?”
“What do you expect me to do, Grazia? Pretend you didn’t act like an idiot, betraying my trust, putting yourself in danger, and humiliating me in front of my family?”
