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“I’m not yelling at you.” And when did she grow the balls to snap at me like that? I could barely convince Pina to look me in the face in the past years, and now she was butting heads with me? “I’m angry at your goddamn father.”
He’d let her down and there was no one who knew how bitter that tasted on the tongue than I did. I was proof of how bad something like that could fuck you up.
Pushed by compassion, I took Pina’s face in my hands softly, but she reacted like I’d burned her skin and tried to pull back.
“Hey, look at me.”
“No. We talked enough. Now you know why I work at the club. I should go.”
“It’s not a club, Pina, it’s a brothel. You shouldn’t walk on that street, let alone go down there and serve drinks. This can’t be happening.”
“But it is.”
“You can’t possibly think you’ll gather all the money from waiting tables.”
“I leave all my tips there and only take enough money for rent or food. I’ll get it.”
“No, you won’t. And if you think you’ll make it a year there without someone breaking your spirit, then you’re still the same naive girl with pigtails. You don’t know that world, Pina, but I do, and you have to stay away from it.”
Her bottom lip started trembling, but out of sheer stubbornness, she refused to let any tears go. Instead, she pulled away, took a small decorative pillow from the couch and threw it where the shards of the beer bottle were scattered.
“And what am I supposed to do then?!” She yelled. “I’m in a city I don’t know with no friends and no family! I don’t even have a home! Do you think I have a choice?”
Her walls were held down by anger and they were slowly melting, leaving behind a broken girl. I never stopped to think what sending her away would do to Pina. After all, she was raised in the Mafia, where you can only survive if you have trust-worthy people around you. When she left Palermo, she was uprooted from my sister—her best friend—and now she was without her family too.
She was tired, I could see it in her eyes and I felt a roar in my chest. The urge to pull her close and tell her everything would be OK was strong, but I was never a protector, I was a rebel, and Pina was not my responsibility. Still, I was hesitant to tell her to leave. I had all my answers, but I wanted to keep her next to me where she was safe. At least for a little while.
“You can’t live this life, Pina. It’s not for you.”
“Don’t you think I know that? I never wanted it. I hated being born into danger and crime, I dreaded it ever since I was old enough to understand who we were. Ariana always had this fantasy of being the queen of the Mafia, have men bow down to her, but I didn’t. I wanted a simple, normal life, but even now when yourfamigliais done with me, I’m not free. I just want to pay this debt and start over.”
She never asked for much. Even now, she wished for something simple, a life like everyone else had, but God decided to made her path rocky. I was well aware I added to her troubles, but she was tied with my enemy. Pina’s blood was the same as that of the woman who tried to hurt my sister. I said all of that again in my head, reminding myself of the reasons I had to hate her. Still, her soft moans were floating around, reminding me of how good I felt inside her.
“Do you…” I cleared my throat to sound surer of my words, “Do you need my help?”
To my surprise, she laughed, but it sounded like mockery more than happiness. “You’ve done enough, Garon. Just leave me alone and I’ll find my way out of this.”
“No, you won’t. What do you think is going to happen? You work a year in a brothel without being tricked into doing more than serving drinks? And what if you don’t make the money? What if one of those drunk perverts forces himself on you?”
“Leonardo is looking after me. He’s a good friend…”
“That fucker is not your friend, Pina!” I yelled at her. I felt exasperated because she fell so easily for Bugllioni’s act, another sign that she should not be so deeply tangled into the underground world. “What do you think he’s going to ask from you in exchange for his protection? God knows you don’t have any money to give him.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I know men like him. He’s going to take advantage of you.”
The brown of her eyes darkened until it turned to black. “Like you did?” She fired.
My gut twisted painfully. “You came to me, Pina. You offered to share thatwithme.”
“I’m not saying anything different, but you were hurt and angry, Garon. You needed the relief and I gave it to you. Don’t pretend you thought about me once when we were in that closet.”
It angered me to hear her say that. Mostly because she was right. When did my soul darken so much that I didn’t see I was hurting Pina?
“You’re Grazia’s friend. I would have never hurt you.”
“Not physically.” The message was very clear. “We’re done here. I’m going home.” She declared and tried to walk around me and get to the door.
