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A knot formed in Elyse’s stomach. Her first instinct was to snap back at Privya, to explain that she hadn’t given up on herself. But she forced herself to remain silent and consider. Wasn’t promising to turn herself in the very definition of giving up on herself?
“I’m just trying to do what’s right,” she said finally, sounding meeker than she wanted to. She was doing whatever she could to ensure she left this world a better place. Wasn’t that worth something?
Privya nodded. “Sometimes we convince ourselves that being a martyr is what’s best, when in reality, it’s simply easier than dealing with our problems.”
Elyse swallowed. Was that what she was doing? Was she giving in to a death wish that had hung over her for years? She shook her head and looked at her hands, which were folded in her lap. Even if that was what she was doing—giving up on herself—it didn’t matter. It was too late. She had signed away her life with the blood oath.
“Oftentimes,” Privya continued, “there are answers to the questions we face. We just have to decide to look for them.”
Elyse raised her head to look at the healer. It was not the first time she had felt that Privya could read her thoughts, and she wondered if somehow Privya was aware of the blood pact—and if she knew how to sever it. “Do you know something that could help me?” she asked.
Privya’s face remained stoic. “I am merely passing along philosophical advice.”
Elyse felt her heart sink, though she hadn’t even realized it had been lifted with hope. Of course that’s all it was—advice. No one knew how to sever a blood oath. Elyse’s fate was sealed.
“Come on,” Privya beckoned, extending a hand to Elyse. “I’d like to meet your friends.”
Laughter greeted them as they meandered into the kitchen. It was a large room, but with so many people, and so many excited conversations, the space felt crowded. Everyone bumped elbows as they helped themselves to a late supper, and Elyse navigated through the chaos to introduce Privya to each of her friends.
After heartily welcoming Manny, Sera, and Jaime into her home, Privya made her way to Killian. Elyse slipped into the background, leaving Privya and Killian to catch up privately. Still, she couldn’t help but glance at them several times, despising just how handsome Killian was when he let himself smile.
When everyone’s plates were filled, they paraded back into the dining room. The tables were small, but the group divided seamlessly. Corin and Jaime, it seemed, had been raised in the same part of Sevhella. They chatted together amicably while Privya graciously let Sera ask endless questions about healing. That left Manny and Killian to sit with Nina, who described her adventures with Corin as they searched for healing springs.
Deciding not to intrude on the other conversations, Elyse sat beside Nina. She listened intently as Nina recounted their journey, peppering in details about how she and Corin had fallen in love along the way.
“I never thought I would see so much of the kingdom,” she concluded, breathless from her own story. “And I never thought I’d find someone who makes me feel worthy of love.” She glanced at Corin, who was now engaged in a conversation with Sera. When she turned back, she met Elyse’s gaze with watery eyes. “Thank you,” she said sincerely, and moved her gaze toward Killian. “Both of you. I still can’t believe how incredibly generous the two of you are.”
“You’re very welcome, Nina,” Killian said, but his voice sounded tight. He flashed a half-hearted smile before asking Nina to tell them more about the springs they found.
After supper, Privya came and stood by Elyse’s chair. “Shall I open a bottle of wine?”
There was nothing Elyse wanted more than to sip on a delicious red wine while chatting with her friends, but sleep seemed the more logical choice. Before she could open her mouth to decline, Killian answered for her.
“That sounds lovely,” he declared. He gave Elyse a pointed look, one that she couldn’t decipher. Was he angry about something?
“Is that a good idea?” she asked in a low voice. “We need to be up at sunrise.”
Killian scoffed, but it was Privya who protested loudest.
“I’ve read many books about quests and adventures, and in every single one, the heroes always drink the night before a momentous occasion.” She smirked knowingly as she sauntered away.
Manny leaned toward Killian and asked in a hushed voice, “Do you think she reads the sexy books too? The ones where people… you know…” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
From across the room, Privya stopped and turned to face him. Manny’s face turned vermillion as he realized she’d heard him, and Elyse felt her own cheeks heat, embarrassed on his behalf. Everyone held their breath, waiting for Privya’s retort.
But her pursed lips slowly turned up at the corners until she was smiling broadly. “Yes, Manny. Especially the sexy books.”
Chapter 25
- Killian -
Hours later, after several glasses of dry wine that made easy conversation flow even freer, everyone made their way to their rooms. Killian heard the quiet rustling in the adjacent bedrooms turn to silence as their inhabitants fell asleep, but sleep was far from his grasp.
He wandered down the stairs, his feet carrying him through the main room and back to the kitchen. He didn’t know what he was doing. He just knew he couldn’t sleep, and the confines of his room were driving him mad.
As much as he missed seeing Privya and the others, it was too strange being at the clinic with Elyse. They treated her like a dignitary, as if she hadn’t done anything wrong. It made him sick—and restless. His irritation had grown all evening as he watched Elyse laugh and smile. It almost felt as if she were mocking him, rubbing his nose in her felicity.
Privya’s was supposed to be a safe place, where people could heal and grow. Elyse had stolen that from him. Now every inch of the clinic reminded him of happier times, when he and Elyse had worked together to build others up.
