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“You were snoring on the sofa,” Bella tells him, making me chuckle.
“Was I?”
“Uh-huh. How come you don’t have a bed?”
“I do. It’s just not here. I live in that house over there.”
Bella follows his finger and frowns.
“But you have to live with us now. I don’t want you to be by yourself.” She crawls out of my lap and into E’s.
He looks freaked out for a second, his hands in the air like he doesn’t know what to do, but when she settles down and lays her head against his chest, I see the exact moment my man falls in love with another girl.
“I’ll talk to Creed and Hawk. I’m sure if we asked them nicely, they’d let me stay,” he murmurs to her softly.
“You could have a mermaid bedroom like me.”
“Ooh, nice, but I’m more of a space boy myself. A bedroom full of stars sounds fun.”
“Can I come see it?”
“Of course.”
She nods happily before closing her eyes. Ev looks at me and reaches out with his free arm to pull me closer. I wrap the blanket around all of us and lay my head against his shoulder.
“You should have woken me.”
“You barely sleep as it is.”
“Wake me anyway. Or Creed, or Hawk. Don’t carry this alone, Avery. Let us help you.”
“I’m not sure you can. I’m trying to wrap my head around it all. Trying to understand why I’m here and they’re not. Why me and not them, Ev? I’m not special.”
“Yes, you are, and don’t ever let me hear you say otherwise.” He blows out a breath before kissing my head. “I think today’s the day for talking. We’ve given you time, but I think keeping it all bottled up is eating you from the inside out.”
I want to argue that I’m not ready to open my mouth and let all the horror out, but it’s not just about me. If I’m planning on keeping these kids safe, then I need to deal with my shit. “Okay. Will you call everyone? I’ll ask Lara to watch the kids.”
“I’ll do it now. It’ll give everyone a chance to get up and get dressed.”
I bite my lip. “What about Astrid?”
“I’ll leave that up to her to decide. Just know that if she doesn’t come, it’s not because she’s mad at you. She’s just not ready to hear it.”
I nod, even though I’m not sure I believe him.
“Trust me, Avery.”
“I love you,” I blurt out. “I should have told you before, but I was scared. I never want you to doubt how I feel about you.”
“I love you too, Avery. More than I ever thought possible.”
* * *
I’m going to throw up. I swallow down the bile rushing up my throat and try to get my breathing back under control, but with all eyes on me, it’s impossible.
“Hey, hey, look at me, Avery.” Hawk kneels in front of me and cups my face. “That’s it. Just focus on us—me and you. Nothing else. Now take a deep breath for me and blow it out.”
I do as he says, and though it’s shaky, it helps.
