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“Jess and you what?” Creed turns to look at me before his eyes widen with understanding. “Oh fuck. No, Avery, I wouldn’t do that to you. I didn’t know.”
He turns to Hawk, his fists clenched tightly at his sides. “Why the fuck didn’t you say something?”
“I didn’t fucking know who you hired. You never said. I was blindsided when she walked in, and then you were bringing Avery out. What was I supposed to say?”
“How about, ‘I fucked her, so this won’t work!’” he yells, making me flinch.
“Shit. I’m sorry, Avery. I didn’t think. I”—I raise my hand to shut him up—“didn’t know she was going to say anything. I thought you could get through today, and I’d make sure she didn’t come back.”
I glare at Hawk, who finally shuts his mouth.
“I want to go home now, please. I don’t care about anything else. I just want to go home.”
Hawk’s shoulders drop. For one moment, I think he’ll agree before he stands taller and walks closer. He reaches for my face, but I turn away, not wanting him to see the tears in my eyes. “I can’t let you go,” he admits, pulling me to his chest.
He holds onto me tightly, a desperation in his grip. I keep my arms loosely at my side. “It was a long time ago. I have no interest in Jess. I swear. Hell, I only slept with her because she reminded me of you.”
I shove him away.
“No,” he curses as he reaches for me again, but Creed steps between us.
“You never told me you’d slept with her.” His voice is seething with anger.
“I don’t report to you, Creed.”
Creed shakes his head before blowing out a breath. “Any progress we made, you just blew to pieces.”
“Oh, give me a fucking break. What progress, Creed? Avery still hates us as much now as she did this morning,” Hawk snaps defensively as I move out of the way, standing on the opposite side of the bed in case they come to blows.
“You should have told me,” Creed says quietly.
“You’d have judged me for it. I didn’t need that from you. I was so fucking angry. Angry at Avery. At you. You wanted me to tell you how I used Jess to get over Avery? How a little hate fucking cured me? Impossible. Because a moment’s reprieve left me with days of guilt and self-loathing until the only person I was left angry with was myself.”
Hawk looks at me and swallows. “I never meant to hurt you, Avery. But we weren’t together. You left. And unlike Creed, I didn’t think you’d ever come back. I wanted to get over you so fucking bad, but I swear to you, things are different now.”
“That’s just it, Hawk. We’re all different. The girl you married isn’t here. She was an idiot.”
“Hey, don’t say that,” Creed scolds me, making me huff out a laugh.
“Why? It’s true. She had nothing but hearts in her eyes. Hearts that didn’t just break, they shattered. I cried a fucking river over you. I have nothing left to give. So please, if you ever cared for me, just let me go.”
“I love you,” Creed says so quietly that I almost miss it. I wait for the fire to lick up my skin with his lie. When it doesn’t, I know he’s telling the truth, and somehow that’s even worse.
“You’re in love with the idea of me, but you don’t know me. You never really did.” My tears fall now as I lose the strength to keep them at bay.
“Don’t tell me how I feel.” He steps closer, grabbing my arm.
I shake my head and turn away, walking over to the window and gazing out. There isn’t a cloud in the clear blue sky. But I can’t help but feel like a storm could roll in at any moment.
“Why? You’ve been telling me what to do since we got here. Calm down and we’ll give you this, speak up and we’ll tell you that, admit this and everything will all work out. I feel like I’m in the middle of a war. Only ours is psychological. So far, the wounds have been minor, but today’s stunt just proves that we can hurt each other far deeper. If we stay here like this, the damage we do to each other will be irreparable.”
“Because you’ve already made up your mind that we want to break you,” Hawk growls.
“Don’t you? You didn’t bring me here to love me, no matter if your feelings have changed. Do you know how that feels? To be kidnapped by men who you once loved with your whole heart because they were angry at you. Because you deserve answers. All I hear is you, you, you. Not once have you ever thought about what I deserve.”
“You deserve to be happy. We all do. And we can be if—”
I snarl at him.
