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I whispered, not wanting my voice to intrude. “You live here? This is yours forever and ever?”
He held out his hand to me and grunted.
I sighed, taking in the magnificent starry sky that almost looked 3-D and close enough to touch. Reaching my hand out, Ransom misunderstood and took it, leading me over to the patio sofa.
He tilted his head studying me. “You okay?”
I shook my head. “Nope. Not even a little.” I sighed again. “With beauty like this, how can anyone ever be okay again?”
He grumbled something inaudible, but that wasn’t unusual for Ransom. He was usually a man of very few words. Mostly grunts and grumbles. Very caveman-esque. I wondered if he was in the bedroom too. Wait, nope. Abort. Stop thinking about Ransom having sex because if he was, it would most assuredly not be with me.
Settling on the outdoor sofa, I pulled the blanket onto my lap. Ransom flopped next to me, playing tug of war with it until we finally settled on a place where we sat so close to each other we could share. He looped his arm around my back and handed me a mug of cider. I didn’t mind being connected like this. We were always close. Since we were ten, we could just sit together, no words exchanged. Usually connected physically like this. Being together calmed the demons that plagued us.
After a while, he shifted to link our legs together. The intimacy of the moment made my lady bits purr. It meant something to me I knew it didn’t mean to him. But this time, instead of letting it shatter me, I soaked it in and bottled up the feeling.
He took a drink and looked down at me. “Warm enough?”
I nodded.
“Need anything?”
And for the first time in a long time, I lied to my best friend. “Nope, not a thing.”
Truth was, I needed him to want me. To be unable to resist me. To have this closeness for the rest of time. And know that we would have the rest of our days living here, holding each other every night, and doing exactly this forever. I needed it so much, my heart felt singed at the lie. So, I took a sip of cider and tamped it down. I wouldn’t ruin this moment, this day, or this trip with thoughts of a forever with Ransom I knew would never be.
* * *
The next morning, I woke up in the most comfortable bed ever. Soft, yet firm. All with a magical cooling power that kept me from sweating. I felt renewed, refreshed, and relaxed.
And then I remembered: bacon.
Jumping up and dancing on the cool hardwood looking tile floor in the bathroom, I took care of business, washed up, brushed my teeth, and threw on a pair of jeans. Then I found a low-cut graphic T-shirt that said If you can’t handle the sass, you can’t handle this ass and snagged a plain purple sweatshirt to take with me. Grabbing my sneakers, I took off for the kitchen. To my delight, Ransom had just awakened. His hair looked sleep-rumpled and his muscley bare chest was on display since he only wore a pair of low-riding red and black plaid pajama pants. Not even boxers from the looks of it. Holy hell.
“Morning, Chief.”
He pointed to the coffee maker.
I clasped my hands to my chest. “Aww, no words until coffee? Just like college. That’s okay, I’ll just do all the talking for both of us.”
While he flopped on a barstool at the counter propping his head on one hand, I chatted with him about everything and nothing while the coffee maker did its thing. He didn’t like sugar in his coffee, but he liked those flavored creamers filled with sugar. I snickered when I found the pumpkin spice creamer and held it up to mock him, but he just grunted his approval.
He already had two mugs out on the counter, so I didn’t actually have a reason to paw around in his cabinets, but I did it anyway.
Stopping a second, I wondered if Ransom thought I ran over him all the time. Was I a human bulldozer?
“You’re not a human bulldozer,” he grumbled and switched to holding his head with the other palm.
Oops. That must have been out loud. “I do that a lot, you know. I think I’m saying everything just in my head but then you answer and I realize I’ve said it out loud. I wonder if that’s an everybody thing or just a writer thing. Or just a me thing?”
When I paused for breath, the coffee maker finished and I dove for it. Ransom needed his caffeine or his tolerance of me would not last.
He reached for the coffee cup. “I can tolerate you without coffee probably better than anyone else.”
“Again?” I winced. “Shit, I’m gonna have to stop doing that. Wait, do you want me to stop swearing too?” I snickered. “That might be too much fucking effort to stay here.”
Ransom stirred the creamer in quickly, then took a long gulp of coffee. When he surfaced, he scowled at me. “I don’t want you to change who you are, Raven. Just be you. And stop overthinking everything.”
Leaning over the counter across from him, I clutched my coffee mug, blowing on the surface. I wasn’t brave enough to drink the scalding liquid yet. “Wait, am I supposed to be me or stop overthinking? ‘Cause I can’t do both.”
