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Hudson holds up a hand and cuts him off. “I have news.” He slurs his words ever so slightly and I take note of the empty beer bottles clinking by his feet. “Celeste is gone for good. She broke up with me, and it’s final. This time I figure it was probably for the best, so I let her go. As it turns out, she isn’t my person.”
Hudson’s proclamation takes me aback. I wasn’t expecting that, but I’m thrilled for him.
I clear my throat. “I’m happy to hear that. I know you’re probably sad now, but in the long run, I think you’ll be better off. But Nathan, you didn’t mention that my brother was the friend you were dashing off to help this evening. That’s kind of an important detail.”
Hudson sits upright. “Why would Nathan be telling you anything?”
I guess it’s time to rip off the bandage. “Hudson, Nathan, and I—” I start, but Nathan cuts me off.
“Hey man, you’re going through a lot right now with the breakup. You should just relax,” Nathan says, gesturing to Hudson. “Let’s just relax.”
I fold my arms across my chest. This is ridiculous. We’re all adults here.
“Whew, for a minute I thought you were going to say something else.” Hudson sits back in his chair.
I start again. “Me and Nathan are—”
Nathan springs to his feet and stands between me and the couch where Hudson is sitting, physically blocking and obstructing our view of one another. His tone is more chatty than usual when he continues. “Holly and I are doing a project together for work, turning her blog into a show. That’s it.”
I stare up at him. “Coworkers is what we are?”
“That better be all you are.” Hudson leans forward in his seat, looking from Nathan to me and back again.
Nathan’s eyes grow as wide as saucers and I shake my head. Is he worried about what Hudson will say or is there something else going on here? Is he embarrassed because I’m not the model type he usually dates? Are we not dating at all in his eyes? Am I still that stupid kid with a crush on someone way out of my league?
A lump wells in my throat. With every second of tense silence that passes, I get more unsure. My eyes beg him to say something, but Nathan stays silent. He looks back at Hudson, and then at the TV. His lack of action tells me everything I need to know.
My heart hurts. But no matter what Nathan is thinking, the reality is he won’t admit to having a connection with me. I deserve someone proud to be with me, and not afraid to say how he feels, no matter who’s around.
“That’s all we are.” Nathan’s voice is small and unconvincing.
I decide to take matters into my own hands. “Nathan and I have been flirting and sneaking off to kiss in corners every chance we get. He called me sweetheart, and I fell in love. But I know now it isn’t mutual. I guess it was my mistake, reading too much into things.”
Nathan’s mouth hangs open and his eyes dart back and forth between Hudson and me. Hudson’s eyes flare and I immediately regret saying anything. There’s a chance that Nathan knew exactly what he was doing when he decided not to say anything. Hudson is on his feet in an instant, prowling toward Nathan like a tiger on the hunt.
“My sister? My. Sister. Like I don’t know how you treat the women you date. Like I haven’t had to console them when they show up asking why you’ve disappeared. I’ve seen what you do and I’m not okay with it when it’s random people. Now you think you’re going to do that to my sister? Unreal.”
“Hudson, calm down. I’m an adult. I can make my own decisions,” I say.
Hudson won’t be deterred. He continues, “And were you two planning on telling me? Maybe you thought you’d just keep it a secret. That checks out. That’s the theme of the day. Celeste had a secret boyfriend too, you know that? So there, Holly, you and she had something in common after all.”
His words are a gut punch and I can feel the depths of his despair as they pour out of him. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
Hudson’s face is pinched into tight lines. “I’ll bet the two of you are.”
“It’s not…” Nathan’s sentence fades into a subtle shake of his head and it devastates me.
The room is heavy with emotions and things not said. I breathe in anger, sadness, frustration, disappointment. It’s all too much.
The worst part is that with each passing second, Nathan makes it clear that I don’t matter to him, at least not the way he matters to me. His silence makes tears build behind my eyes. But I’m glad I came. At least now I know where we stand.
“I’d leave so the two of you can work out whatever this is or isn’t, but this is my house, and seeing as my ex is currently entertaining someone else in her house, I have nowhere to be. So if you don’t mind, I’m going to get back to this.” Hudson sits, picking up his video game controller and rocking back in his chair.
“I’m more than happy to leave. I don’t want to be around either one of you right now. Hudson, I’m sorry you’re sad about Celeste, but she was a total nightmare, and I still supported you because she was who you wanted. And Nathan,” I start, but if I continue, the tears welling behind my eyes will spill over and I refuse to let that happen.
Instead, I turn on my heels, walk straight out of the front door, and let it slam behind me.
Ten
