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But I hadn’t been able to hold it back. I was nothing if not honest, and I would never lie to him.
Jarred had done a number on me, emotionally and physically, and I would’ve probably responded the same way Ethan did if I ever ran into him again. But that didn’t stop me from falling in love with Ethan. When I was with him, my past felt so far away, my heart totally oblivious to the risks, with only one focus.
It was fast, probably too fast. I’d tried and failed to protect my heart against Ethan, but I wouldn’t take it back.
Whatever happened between us, I wouldn’t take it back.
“You’re uncharacteristically quiet today,” Ethan said as we rounded a bend in the trail.
“I know,” I said.
“Want to tell me what’s bothering you?”
Did I? Would admitting my self-doubt, my worries over telling him I fell for him too soon help anything?
No. It would put pressure on him. Pressure he didn’t need.
“Not right now,” I admitted. “Is that okay?”
“Of course,” he said. “But if I can help, you know I want to.”
“I know,” I said. “And it’s not a big deal, just some internal stuff I’m working through.”
“I respect that,” he said. “Just let me know when you need me.”
“I will,” I said.
And I think I would always need him, which made things more scary than they probably were. I’d come to depend on him in ways I’d promised I never would again, but I loved him. Genuinely, whole-heartedly loved him.
And he might not love me back.
Might not be healed enough to do that, and I had to be okay with that.
But he’d asked me to move in with him…that was something. A big something, really.
“I wanted to ask you something,” he said, and I gave him my full attention. “My dad is coming into town in a few weeks,” he said. “And Mom is always down for dinner when he’s in town. I was hoping you’d join us, if you’re comfortable?”
I grinned, my heart lifting with much needed hope. “I’d love to.”
“Great,” he said. “And the poker game is next weekend. I’d love for you to be there too.”
“Really?” I asked. He’d told me a little about the monthly game he had with his inner circle, and it definitely wasn’t something I’d ever be able to buy into. “Even though I don’t have a buy-in?” I teased.
“You can play with my chips if you want,” he said without hesitation.
“Rich people are strange,” I said. “You’re so ready to let me lose your money.”
“Who says you’d lose?”
“Against people like Crossland and Gareth? I definitely would lose. I lose at go-fish.”
Ethan laughed, the sound stirring up all kinds of butterflies in my stomach. I lived to make him laugh.
“Will Daisy and Brynn be there?” I asked.
We paused where the trail opened up, revealing the fenced in dog park we loved, and we let the dogs wander off the leash for a bit.
Ethan tilted his head. “Does your answer depend on their presence?”
I popped my hands on my hips. “Does withholding information from me really make me inclined to go?”
He pursed his lips. “Touché,” he said. “I just want to be your reason for going.”
My heart flinched. Even though he’d delivered the words with a joking tone, there was a seriousness that struck home with me. Fucking Aubrey. She’d made him feel like he wasn’t worth spending time with, wasn’t worth loving unless he had magnificent wealth and status to offer.
I stepped into his space, reaching up with my free hand to gently grip the back of his neck. “You’d be the only reason I’d go,” I said. “Not for the free trip or the chance to hang with Brynn and Daisy. I only asked so I could text them for advice on what to pack.”
The smile that shaped his lips was slow and endearing and took my breath away. He bent down, wrapping his arms around me and lifted me to his eye level. The moment built between us, a glimmer of the future we could have if we allowed ourselves to have it.
He leaned his forehead against mine, breathing deeply as he held me close. “You’re the perfect woman,” he said. He’d said it so many times I could almost believe him.
But I laughed again, because I was so far from perfect.
“I’ve already fallen for you,” I teased. “You won. You don’t have to keep trying.”
“I’ll always keep trying,” he said. “I’ll never be done making you fall.”
Ethan kissed me, deep and searing. Heat streaked beneath my skin, almost making me forget where we were and what we were doing.
The barking brought us back to reality. Our little horde of doggos had spotted a squirrel.
Ethan quickly set me down and we hurried to snag all the leashes and gather the dogs before we had a chaotic chase on our hands.
