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He spun around and boxed me in against the side of the bus. His fists pressed into the bus on either side of my head and his eyes were hard as he lowered his face to be level with mine. “You think we’re bringing women home? That’s what you’re worried about?”
“It’s part of it. I know your reputation. I saw it the night I left. There were women lined up, waiting to be taken back to the bus to get fucked. There was even a repeat visitor that y’all apparently really liked last year. Even asked her to travel with you on the road while you all took her.” I squeezed my eyes shut and cursed myself for sounding like a jealous idiot. “That doesn’t matter. I just mean that you’re rockstars and women want you. It’s normal for you to bring people back to the bus. I just don’t want to see it.”
He growled next to my ear. “We haven’t brought anyone back to this bus since you and none of us want to. We’re interested in one woman but that doesn’t seem to matter. Think what you want, but you’re the only woman who will be on this bus. And youwillbe on this bus. You don’t have to want us for us to still take care of you. You’ll be safe with us. Or you can go back to working for Matthew. We won’t jeopardize your safety.”
My panties were soaked and it made me want to punch him. How could he be so frustrating and so hot at the same time? I’d never been into bossy men before them, but they made me want to listen when they demanded. I let out a frustrated sound and stomped my foot, which made me want to cut the thing off, especially when Jones smirked at it.
“It’s good to know this uptight look didn’t take away your brattiness.” Jones lowered his voice even more and when he spoke, his breath warmed my neck. “As far as whatever you heard that night you left us with a shitty note? In all the years we’ve been touring, we’ve never had a woman stay over more than one night. We’ve never asked anyone to stay with us on the road before you. Whatever you’re telling yourself to bolster this distance you seem to need, it’s bullshit.”
I couldn’t think of anything to say that wasn’t just me begging him to forget I’d ever said anything. When he pushed off and stalked away from me, I just watched and then let my head thump back against the bus. With my heart in my throat and my vagina attempting to grow legs and chase after Jones, I groaned. “What a fucking mess.”
I wanted to be stubborn that night and refuse to sleep on the bus with them, but I saw that the longer I stayed away, the longer Nick had to stay away. He looked tired and I felt guilty, so I finally gave in and made my way onto the bus. Jones was still out, but Xavier and Mack were sitting on the couches, watching a game.
I just wanted to take a shower and crawl into bed so I could pretend things weren’t going to be miserable. I held up my hands and shook my head when both men stared at me. “I’m just going to shower and go to bed.”
Mack nodded. “Your suitcases are in front of your bunk.”
“Did you eat?” Xavier stood up and walked around me to get to the fridge. He pulled out a yogurt bar and a bottled water. “Here. We got more of the bars you liked.”
I braced myself against the counter and hung my head. I couldn’t help doubting myself and I was terrified that I was going to make the wrong step and lose everything. The guys would be so easy to fall into. It would be everything to come back to the bus after a long day and fall into bed with them. The moment they were bored with me, though? I’d be crushed and I didn’t want to know what that pain would feel like.
“Layla?” Xavier gently touched my shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
I cleared my throat and forced the emotion back down into the depths of my guts. “Nothing. It was just a long day. Nothing to worry about. Thanks for this.”
Before they could question me again, I hurried back to my bunk and focused on my breathing as I yanked out the things I needed and then rushed through showering and my nighttime routine. Just as I was crawling into my little bunk, I heard Jones come in. I jerked the curtain closed that was supposed to give me privacy and then I rolled over to face the wall and shoved my earbuds into my ears. The playlist I always listened to at night filled my ears at a volume that should not have been comforting and I did my best to fall asleep.
I closed my eyes and the next time I opened them, I realized I’d slept straight through the night. I was shocked. Instead of giving it too much thought, I hurried through getting ready for my day and ate a quick breakfast before I rushed out of the bus to get started on my day. I was going to make sure the arena show went off without any hitches and it was so much bigger than anything I’d ever done before that I wasn’t going to feel good about it until it was finished.
I poured myself into the work and stayed closer to their manager, Billy the rest of the day. I could tell he thought I was a joke, despite having me step in and save his ass before. It didn’t matter, though. Nothing mattered. I just had to do the job and do it well. I lost track of how many times I told myself that throughout the day.
That night I went to the bus as late as possible, showered, and climbed into bed with my earbuds to have another night of sleeping like the dead. I didn’t see the guys and I was grateful for it.
The day of the big concert, I ran around all day and worked my ass off to make sure everything was perfect. I learned as I went with some things and by the time the show started, I felt like I’d had a crash course in putting on big shows and had made it out the other side alive. The show was amazing, and not just because I’d handled organizing every aspect of it, but because the guys were so good.
While I sat backstage and watched to make sure everything went okay, I listened to them perform and it was hard not to lose myself in their voices.
It was clear that I wasn’t the only one who thought so when the final song ended and women rushed the stage. I turned away and walked to where Nick was standing and waiting for me.
“Ready to go already?”
I nodded. “Yep. Get me out of here, please.”
22
Layla
I’dmadeanartform out of avoiding the guys. It shouldn’t have been possible, considering the size of the bus and how much time we were on it, but I was talented. When we were parked to prepare for shows, I stayed away as much as I could. When we were on the road, I stayed in my bunk. The guys didn’t try to draw me out and I stayed focused on work so I didn’t get bored or lose my mind. I’d made it two weeks and I’d barely spoken to them.
I was miserable, but I never would’ve admitted it. I was doing my dream job. I had what I wanted. I loved the work. Being close to the guys and not having them, at all, was brutal, though. More brutal than I ever could’ve imagined. Almost every night I laid in bed and strained to hear through my blaring music. Wasthatthe night they’d bring someone home? When we were at practice or shows, my eyes tracked every interaction they had with other women. Jealousy had become my closest companion.
I’d even managed to convince myself that I’d pushed the guys away enough that they hated me and didn’t care what I did until one night during a show in Seattle. I’d wanted to watch the more intimate show from the audience to make sure there wasn’t anything I was missing while planning for them. Sitting at the bar, I’d been focused on watching the guys and noticing the lighting when someone tapped me on the shoulder.
I glanced up and saw a guy who instantly made me think: nice. Not nice likenice, but nice like Matthew. Nice hair, nice polo shirt, nice chinos. Just nice. Nick was a few feet away from me so I wasn’t worried about the guy. I just smiled and gave him an inquisitive look.
He leaned down to say something and before he could, Mack’s guitar playing screeched to a stop and his deep voice rang out over the crowd. “Leave her the fuck alone, kid.”
Nick appeared next to me and scowled at the guy. “Get lost.”
