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“Bear,” I firmly say while pulling away. “We have to stop.”
He immediately stops moving his hands on my body and puts them on my knees, which have spread to either side of his thighs. I can feel the hard length of him against me which makes what I’m saying even harder.
“Okay, Holly. You set the pace.” He lightly kisses the tip of my nose then helps me stand up. It’s awkward. Our bodies touch in ways that make me want to jump right back into his arms. “I’m gonna let you have the bed tonight and I’ll sleep out here on the couch. It’s probably best we go to our separate rooms for now.”
There’s a smile on his face, but it’s not his real smile. This smile is strained and forced. I hate that I’ve made things awkward. I’m about to express that regret when Bear stops me. “Holly, don’t apologize or listen to any of the shit going on in your head.” A real smile shines through. “I know exactly what you’re thinking. I know you, Holly Berry. I’m not mad at you. Maybe a little frustrated.” He looks down at his dick which is still obviously hard. He continues with a shrug, “I’ll get over it.”
“I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret. Dax will be upset. He’s been your best friend for more than two-thirds of your lives. I can’t come between that relationship.” I want him to understand that if we were any other people in any other situation, I would be his in a second.
“Holly, I don’t give a fuck what Dax thinks about you and me together.”
I sharply inhale, “Bear, I know you don’t mean that. He’s important to you. He’s important to me. I don’t want to upset him either.”
“I know that, sweetheart. What I mean is that I’m not going to let whether you and I are together be decided by anyone other than us.” He gives me another sweet kiss and walks toward his bedroom. “C’mon, I’ll tuck you into bed and then leave you alone.”
Why does that sound so terrible?
Chapter Four
Bear
I tuck her into my bed. It takes every bit of my willpower to kiss her goodnight and leave the room. Damn, this girl has me so twisted. I don’t know how to make it any clearer to her that I want her to be mine. Her reservations are valid. Dax will be angry. He’s always been overprotective of his little sister, but he’s not a complete ass. He wants her to be happy.
I will make her happy. Everyday for the rest of my life will be dedicated to making the woman in my bed deliriously happy. I just need her to understand that it has always been her.
Turning off the lights, sinks the loft into darkness and illuminates the glow of the snow from outside. The storm is still going and although it’s not good for business I’ve never been happier to be stuck inside. I’ll have at least tomorrow and maybe the day after that to convince Holly that she needs to marry me and spend the rest of her life with me. We’ve known each other long enough I know that’s where this is headed if we let it. I don’t see any reason to wait. We just have to jump in with both feet.
It’s two weeks until Christmas. A Christmas proposal sounds perfect.Have I lost my mind?There are probably lots of people who will think so, but I know what I want. I’m not going to give up until I have her heart and she has my last name.
The couch is usually comfortable, but with Holly feet away in my bed sleep isn’t something realistic. I toss and turn for a couple of hours before giving up. I turn the movie back on that we were watching earlier. That poor couple was mid-coitus for a really long time. A quick glance at my phone to check the time — shit, it’s only two in the morning. What in the hell am I going to do all night?
Looking around the room for something to do, I spy the boxes of Christmas decorations in the corner. The tree is in the box still. I’ve been so busy at the bar that all I’ve done is pull it out of storage.
I can get the tree up and put the lights on tonight. I want Holly to help with the ornaments. She’s always so anti-Christmas and I’ve never known why. When she asked me to watch a Christmas movie tonight, I was shocked.
I pull the tree out and get to work. It takes a while to get the pieces into piles. Dax helped me put things up last year and the asshole didn’t organize anything at all. The lights are all one big clusterfuck too. By the time I have the tree up and the lights on it’s five in the morning and I’m exhausted. It has been almost twenty-four hours since I’ve slept. I’m gonna crash hard if I don’t at least get a nap.
Maybe I can lay on top of the covers next to Holly. I spend the next ten minutes convincing myself that I’m not being a jerk to go lay in my bed next to her. But when I open the door and see her laying there with the covers pulled up to her chin, I know that I would be breaking her trust in me. I promised her that I would stay on the couch and that’s where my big, tired ass needs to go.
I turn to shut the door when I hear, “Bear.” It’s barely a whisper from the bed.
“Go back to sleep, sweetheart. I’m sorry I woke you.” I turn back toward the living room, but again she stops me.
“Don’t go, please.”
???
Holly
Why did Bear open the door?Was he missing me like I’ve been missing him? My sleep tonight can be described in one word — fitful. I’ve tossed and turned, debating going to him and begging for him to sleep with me. I’m the one that caused us to be in separate rooms. If it had been up to Bear, we would have at the very least made out and then slept in the same bed. I ruined that.
When he opened the door, my heartbeat doubled. I want to jump up into his arms and beg him to kiss me. Instead, I ask him not to leave.
Bear stands at the door, his hand on the doorknob, staring at me. I can’t tell what he’s thinking. His face is in the shadow and the only light in the room is from outside. The sun hasn’t started to rise yet, so it must be the glow off the snow.
“Holly?” Bear asks in a deep, gravelly voice. “You need to tell me exactly what you want. I don’t want there to be any confusion.” He sounds like a man on the edge. I did that to him. Part of me feels bad and another part of me feels powerful.
“I want you to come get in bed with me.” My voice is soft and wavering. “I don’t know what after that, but I know I want you next to me.”
