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It was the most torturous drive of his life, heading back to Green Acres and analyzing every word that Jenna had let slip. He hoped that it was all a misunderstanding, that Jenna had gotten her wires crossed somewhere and this was all some sort of ridiculous mix-up. But something in his gut told him that he wouldn’t be that lucky. Not this time. Somehow he couldn’t see them laughing this off and getting on with their day, even though he wanted that desperately.
Pulling up to the house and forcing his feet up the porch steps, Brendan hesitated with his hand on the door handle, feeling like this was a point of no return, a moment that he would never be able to rewind or erase. Why did everything feel like it was about to change? Just when it had gotten so good… But stretching it all out only made it worse. He turned the handle and walked inside.
It was warm inside, with the sound of water boiling in the kitchen and the smell of coffee brewing, which just added to the twisting in Brendan’s guts. He entered the kitchen and felt himself freeze when Nicole turned around with a bright smile.
But that didn’t last all that long and her smile fell away. How he was feeling must have been written all over his face.
He couldn’t look at her. He physically couldn’t bring himself to look at Nicole’s face; it just hurt too much, like a knife in the back. Instead, his eyes skipped from the floor to the table, to the fridge and back again, looking anywhere but at her. Just this last night he had watched her face sleeping so close to his, and it had made him so happy. He’d stayed lying there, watching her sleep, memorizing the lines of her nose, the creases around her eyes, the softness of her lips when they weren’t stretched into either a scowl or a smile.
“Brendan?” she asked and her voice sounded so small. “What’s wrong?”
Why couldn’t he be angry? This would be so much easier if he was angry, fueled by rage or hate or some other ugly emotion that could propel him through this, but it was justpain.
“So I went to the diner to get breakfast…” he said, needing to start somewhere and it seemed as good a place as any.
“Yeah?” said Nicole, clearly confused by his cold demeanor. “I saw the note. Thank you.”
She didn’t mention that his hands were empty, that there was no breakfast to be seen. It was still out in the car, probably never to be eaten.
Brendan made himself look at Nicole for the next part, needing to see her reaction, hoping against hope that she’d be confused and say that that woman was crazy or a liar and didn’t know what she was talking about.
“And I talked to Jenna,” he said, watching every minute change in Nicole’s expression. “She thanked me for thedonationof milk products when I first arrived.”
Nicole’s face fell, looking like she’d been punched in the gut, and Brendan knew his suspicions were confirmed. That she really had tried to sabotage him, to trip him up. He’d always known she was fiery, that she went after what she wanted, it was something that had drawn him to her. But he hadn’t known she could be sopetty.
She didn’t say anything at all, and now it was Nicole who couldn’t look him in the face as her cheeks turned bright red, fingers picking at the sleeves of her shirt.
“Okay,” said Brendan running a hand down his face, over his beard that had gotten unwieldy and wild. “Good to know you thought I really was that stupid that I would never figure it out. But I suppose you weren’t all that wrong when it took me this long…”
“I…” she said, ready to explain or give an excuse, but Brendan really didn’t want to hear it. He placed the envelope containing the deeds to the farm, after having grabbed it from the glovebox of his car on the way in, on the table along with the keys. Nicole just stared at them blankly, the dots not connecting for her, so Brendan plowed on ahead and explained.
“I can’t…” He laughed as the words clogged up in his throat. God, not even a few hours ago he was trying to figure out how to tell her that he wanted to stay, that he couldn’t bear to leave. Now here he was wanting to run from the place like it was on fire. It was one hell of a cruel joke that the universe had thrown at him, that was for sure.
“I’ll be leaving,” he said, nodding as he said it, as if trying to convince himself. “I think that’s for the best.”
“No…”
Brendan gave Nicole a scathing look, and she shut her mouth tight. “Yes, Nicole. I don’t exactly feel welcome here after finding that out. And I guess congratulations are in order — well done; your sabotaging succeeded.”
She flinched as if the words had physically stung her.
“I didn’t mean to…” she said, arms wrapped tight around herself like armor. Brendan couldn’t afford to feel sorry for her. He couldn’t afford for his feelings to get in the way right now. Thankfully, that anger he so desperately needed was finally kicking in.
“What, so you accidentally fell into the diner and gave away all the product without telling me? It was all just a misunderstanding?”
“No, I just, I didn’t mean to… I was wrong, I’m sorry.”
Brendan took a step back from her. “Keep the deeds,” he said. “Keep the keys. Hell, you can justhaveit. Consider it a gift. I’ll take it as a sunk cost.”
“Brendan…”
He shook his head, intent on ignoring how wobbly her voice sounded right now, how big her eyes were.
“You win,” he said, barely hearing his own words as they left his mouth. “The farm is yours. This is what you know best, and I’ll go back to what I do best. The world will be set to rights again.”
“Wait—” she said, voice cracking halfway through the word. But Brendan didn’t wait; he couldn’t let himself wait. All he knew was that he needed to leave as soon as possible.
He shut the door behind him, resisting the urge to slam it, then climbed into his car and drove away, not once looking back.
