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“Uh, no.” I force a smile, but I’m trying not to squirm in my seat. I don’t mind if they talk about the ranch, but it’s pretty obvious that Josh does.
Richard launches into a detailed description of the current market for cattle, and I try my best to follow along. I’m not used to this kind of talk, but I can tell that he’s passionate about it. Diane chimes in every now and then, asking questions and showing a genuine interest in the business. Josh, on the other hand, seems to be getting more and more tense as the conversation goes on. His grip on my hand tightens, and I can feel his muscles tensing up.
Finally, he can’t take it anymore. “Dad, I don’t want to talk about the ranch any more. There’s a time and a place for that.”
His father laughs. “Sure, son, if you say so. But don’t expect me to be quiet for long. That was my father’s ranch. Our name and legacy are tied to it.”
“I understand,” Josh says through gritted teeth.
Luckily, our dinner arrives, and I take the opportunity to change the subject.
“I heard that the library is being upgraded,” I say.
Diane nods eagerly. “Oh, yes. I volunteer there a couple mornings a week, and we’re getting a new reading room built on.”
Even though the conversation doesn’t return to the ranch, Josh is tense for the rest of dinner. It’s not until we’ve said goodbye to his parents and climbed into his truck that he visibly relaxes.
“You okay?” I touch his shoulder.
He takes a deep breath and nods. “Yeah, sorry about that. My dad can be difficult sometimes.”
“It’s okay,” I assure him. “I can tell how important the ranch is to your family.”
He smiles weakly. “Yeah, it’s ourlegacy.” His laugh is bitter. “In case you didn’t catch that part.”
I smile wryly. “He tries to micromanage you a lot, huh?”
Josh lets out a full exhale. “Sometimes I wish I could just… escape it all, you know?”
I nod. “I understand. It can be a lot of pressure when your family has a certain expectation for you.”
He looks at me, his eyes searching mine. “You get it. I know you do. But you don’t let it define you, either. You’re your own person.”
I feel a warmth spreading in my chest. “Thank you. I still feel impacted by it, though. There’s always a part of me that doesn’t want to let my mom down, even if it’s a small part.”
“You don’t want to be a doctor?”
“No, I do. I’ve always wanted that. It’s just…” My gaze drifts to the starry night. “Sometimes it’s hard to separate my desires from my parents’ desires for me. You know?”
“God, do I ever.”
I grin at him. “What would you do if you weren’t running the ranch?”
He hesitates, but I can tell from his face that he already has an answer. He’s just not sure if he should share it.
“It’s okay.” I gently poke him. “You can tell me. I won’t laugh.”
“Well… I love being around the animals. But I don’t feel fulfilled raising them just to produce meat, you know? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just never been my thing. Sometimes, I think I’d kind of like to do the opposite. Have some sort of animal sanctuary.”
I can see the passion in his eyes as he speaks, and my heart swells with admiration. “That’s amazing, Josh. You should really consider pursuing that.”
He chuckles, shaking his head. “I don’t know if my dad would ever let me hear the end of it if I did.”
I lean in closer to him. “You can’t let him control your entire life, Josh. You deserve to follow your dreams, even if they’re different from what your family expects of you.”
He looks at me, the warmth of his gaze sending shivers down my spine. “You’re incredible, you know that?”
I feel my face flush, and I look away, feeling suddenly shy. “I’m just saying what I believe.”
