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Could I even be a good father? The question crept up by degrees, and doubt was the only answer I could give.
"I'm going to need you to do something for me, Anton," I said, "I need to get back."
Yes, get back to my soon-to-be bride, I smirked.
Chapter 11 - Ivan
I stood by the vanity in Audrey's room, watching her sleep. I soon learned that observing her often helped to calm me down. Her image was a kind of therapeutic balm that soothed my mind. Eventually, I took to watching her secretly, and the best time was when she was asleep. Her vulnerability acted as an anchor to the outside world, to the fragile beauty of the world on the surface. My underground world was an incredibly dark and deep one; it was an abyss easy to enter but almost impossible to leave. Even the maids in my compound now had a shade of darkness on them—one could clearly see it in their eyes—after spending this much time with me and my family. It was a diffusion of darkness.
Whatever you do, don't let her know about the Bratva. Keep her out of this,I swore to myself. My skin itched for a cigarette and my fingers trembled. This was another effect of close proximity to Audrey. I couldn't smoke though. I had discerned that she wasn't fond of the smell, so I did my best not to smoke in front of her. It was a fierce battle between quelling my anxious mind and satisfying the silent wishes of the other. No greater conflict ever existed.
The sound of heavy yet quick footsteps pulled me out of my ponderings.While men slept, Anton was always at work.
"Boss," he whispered. The dark circles surrounding his eyes revealed his sleep-deprived routines. It wasn't that I worked him to the bone but that he insisted on constantly working. I supposed it was his way of distracting himself from the dark memories of his childhood before he joined the family, and no matter how close we were, that was something he wouldn't open up about.
"What'd you find?" I asked as I was closing the door of the room Audrey was peacefully sleeping in.
"Audrey Sanders," he proceeded with the report I had requested, "That's the name of the girl.
"She recently broke off an engagement with her fiancé Jeremy Smith, and lost her job at the same man’s father’s company as a result. She lived alone, without any particular family. She had been through many foster homes despite her reportedly good behavior. She’d graduated from a local university in the city and her only friends were Charlotte Harvey and Claire Goldwater. She had no other real contact with anyone else. She also seems to have a thing for books, particularly Japanese novels."
Anton, as swift as ever, had found this much within the span of a few hours. I started to understand what kind of a person she was.
"Well, time to get myself a wife," I slapped my lap and sprang up.
"I'm sorry, what?" Anton's surprise was hilarious to me.
"You heard me, old man. Congratulations are in order.” I chuckled. We’d hug it out once the shock wore off.
“Come on, now. Help me get her things,” I added.
Soon after, while driving to Audrey’s apartment, my guard--who also happens to be the only person I could call a real friend—finally spoke.
"The girl, Audrey?” Anton asked suddenly.
“What about her?" My heart skipped a beat. I had slipped up in my response. I caught the smile formed at the corner of Anton's lips.
"What are you going to do about her?"
"Oh, I'm marrying her," I said squarely.
Anton swerved the car slightly before catching himself again.
"What the fuck, Anton?"
"Sorry! It's just—I was convinced it’s one of your games. I didn’t think you were serious. Forgive me, my mistake," Anton apologized.
"That's cute, Anton, but I'm serious," I smirked.
"Wow, I never thought this day would come, especially after—oh, I'm sorry," Anton cursed himself.
"That's alright, old man," I said.I didn't want to think about her either.We rode in silence until we arrived at the destination—an apartment building at the heart of the city.
"Here's the apartment number as well as the keys,” Anton passed a piece of paper to me.
"Stay here, okay?" I instructed and got into the building, weaving my way through the long corridors and elevators. At last, I stood before the door. I unlocked the door and my hand tightened around the doorknob.
I'm nervous. Why am I nervous?I guessed it was because I was slightly scared of finding out who she really was. In the end, I entered the door and entered her apartment.
