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His genuine concern just layered on the guilt. She’d been so absorbed in the investigation she hadn’t even considered that he might be worried. The fact her job was dangerous wasn’t new territory for them to cover, and it had broken them up before. She pulled out a chair and dropped down. “I’m so sorry, Logan.”
There were a few seconds of silence.
“You’re all right, that’s all that matters,” he said. “Another late night?”
A pointless question considering the time. “More than that. I’m not sure when I’ll be home.”
“What does that mean?”
Maybe it was her guilty conscience, but he’d replied as if she wasn’t planning to return at all. “A case came up today, and it needs my full attention. All the PWCPD is working together on it.”
“Wow. But surely, you can take a break, get some rest. You deserve that much.”
She loved that he was concerned for her welfare, but he’d never been a cop so there’s no way he could fully understand. “I promise I’ll get home when I can.”
A few beats, then, “All right. What should I tell Zoe? Or did you want to talk to her?”
The thought of Logan and Zoe settled in at home warmed her heart and made her envious at the same time. The three of them had a good thing going, and her stupidity threatened to destroy all of it. “I’d love to.”
“I’ll get her.”
“I love you,” Amanda blurted out, and the absence of a response or acknowledgment seared her chest. He just might not have heard her.
“Mandy?” Zoe’s chirpy little voice traveled the line and buoyed Amanda instantly.
“Hey, sweetheart. How was your day with Libby and Penny?” Zoe was on school break for the holidays and had spent the day with them. “Aunt” Libby was Zoe’s chosen family from her life before. Penny was Libby’s girlfriend.
“Great. I made a Santa out of cotton balls and a Popsicle stick.”
“I’d love to see it.”
“I have it here. When will you be home?” Zoe’s smile traveled over the line, and the thought of being the one responsible for stripping the girl of her joy splintered Amanda’s heart.
“It will be late.”
“Oh, why? More bad guys to catch?” Zoe didn’t sound as disheartened as Amanda had anticipated. Maybe it was because Amanda disappointed the girl so often, she expected it and the impact grazed off her.
“There are always bad guys, Zoe, but you know you’re my special girl, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. I will look at your Santa Claus as soon as I can.”
“All right.” A sense of sadness traveled the line.
“I love you, Zoe. Be good for Logan tonight.”
“Will you be home to read to me?”
Amanda had a habit of reading to Zoe from the very beginning. It was something that Zoe’s biological mother had done, and with Zoe having already lost so much, there was no way Amanda would let her lose that part of her routine. She was thankful that Zoe hadn’t outgrown it like she had so many other things. This habit warmed Amanda’s heart, though she realized this pastime would soon be in the rearview mirror. “I don’t think so, baby, but Logan can?—”
“He doesn’t do the voices as good as you.”
The line went dead before Amanda could respond. Either Zoe had hung up on her intentionally or it had been a slip of her finger. Her heart begged for it to be the latter. She was about to call back when her phone rang. “Detective Steele,” she answered.
“Fitz here, from the NYPD, and I’ve got something you need to hear.”
TWENTY-NINE
