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I’m shivering, both from cold and from something else that I don’t understand. My arse is on fire, the welts across my skin burning with every movement, but I know that if Kal were to feel between my legs at the moment, he’d find me soaking, and I don’t know why. There’s an ache low in my belly that I’ve never felt before, and it makes me want to beg him to touch me, to do something to alleviate it.
Instead, I bend down and gather up the sticks I dropped. He does the same, and we begin walking back to the others.
‘Kallum?’ I ask quietly.
‘Yes?’
‘Will you let me have a pain powder when we get back to the gate? I’d like to go to sleep.’
I see his small nod and let out a small sigh of relief. I wipe my face with the back of my hand as I see the Gate through the trees.
‘We found a box in a tree hole nearby,’ Dane says as we return, not looking up from the metal container he’s looking through.
‘What does it say?’ Kallum asks.
‘Looks like it opens every twelve days, and the last log was almost seventy-two days ago, so we’re in luck. It should open tonight or sometime tomorrow morning.’
‘Good,’ Kal says, but I wince at Dane’s words. I was hoping for more time to recover from the last crossing.
Grey starts a fire, and when they sit around it together, sharing food, I awkwardly sit on the opposite side, trying not to let the pain radiating from the lashes show on my face. Dane throws me some dried meat, and I huddle as close to the fire as I can but still shiver. I can’t seem to get warm today.
I listen to them laugh and tease one another, their easy banter making me feel more and more alone. I don’t know what to think about what happened in the forest.
I hadn’t run. I’d let him hurt me. I’d wanted him to, and what’s worse is that he was right. The guilt and remorse that have been plaguing me since Alcana aren’t so crushing now, as if his strikes with the switch have beaten them back. I needed what he did, and I’m afraid I will again.
Tears prickle my eyes, and I look over at Kallum, silently pleading for him to remember to give me what I asked for on the way back from collecting the wood, but he hasn’t so much as looked at me since the woods.
But, as if he senses something, his eyes finally meet mine, and he frowns, pulling a sachet out of his tunic. He throws it to me, and I quickly open it and pour it into my mouth before either of the others can stop me.
‘You shouldn’t have done that,’ Grey says, sounding angry. ‘What if the Gate opens tonight?’
Kallum laughs. ‘I’m sure we can find the strength to carry one little sleeping human,’ he sneers as my eyes start to droop. I don’t fight it. I just give in, lying down in the dirt next to the fire and letting myself succumb to the sleeping draught.
* * *
I hear a noise, and my ears perk up. It’s high-pitched, and I know I’ve heard it before. But in the halfway point between asleep and awake, I can’t remember where.
I stretch out, feeling warm and content, and next to me, I feel someone move. An arm is thrown over me, and someone draws closer to me as my eyes begin to slowly open.
Something isn’t right.
Why is the Harbinger cuddling me? I look down at her, and instead of my body, I see black fur and enormous paws.
I jerk up to a sitting position, but all I succeed in doing is falling to the side because I have four legs, not two. Thankfully, I roll away from her because I’m easily large enough to crush her. I stand on my four legs and try to walk forward, only to wobble like a newlyborn fawn.
The ringing I can hear gets louder, and I realize what it is. I keep hearing it just before a Gate opens.
Shit!
I need to change back before it opens, before the others see me like this.
I close my eyes and try to remember my lessons, thinking about being me. I feel my body begin to transform, and I huff out a breath of relief. When I stand up and look around, I’m in my fae form again. I look down at myself, making sure that everything is as it should be before I go to my pack and drag out some clothes. When I’m dressed, and the ringing has become almost more piercing than my newly sensitive ears can bear, I kick Dane and Kal awake.
‘The Gate’s about to open,’ I say.
‘How do you know?’ Kallum asks with a yawn, but he still gets up and begins rolling his blankets away.
‘I can hear it,’ I say quietly.
