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“We have everything,” she said as we lay on lounge chairs, watching the night sky.
We did, and neither of us took a moment of it for granted.
“Will you tell your father?” she asked.
“In time.”
“What’s on your mind?”
I looked over at her and tugged the thin blanket over her shoulder. She’d filled out a little with the pregnancy, and she couldn’t be more beautiful to me.
“Dominic. I’m worried.”
“He’ll turn up. He has a lot to process, and probably feels awful for what he did.”
“He’d know by now that I’m fine. He’d know where we live. He just disappeared, and that worries me.”
She touched my hand and brought it to her belly. I faced her to kiss her lips and rub the warm mound.
“He’ll turn up when he’s ready. Give him space.”
“What if he’s…hurt himself?”
“He’s not the type. It’s far more effective to torture yourself while living, Salvatore. You and your brother both—guilt is like a second skin to you. It’s like you have to learn how to live, how to breathe, without it. You’re learning, but you’ve got a good teacher,” she finished with a wink.
“How did I end up so lucky?”
“You signed a contract, remember?”
She rolled onto her side, her back to me, and I pulled her in, holding her tight.
“Smart-ass.”
“Don’t forget pigheaded.”
“Oh, no, you prove that on a daily basis.”
She jabbed her elbow into my gut.
“Apart from my brother, my life couldn’t be more perfect. It scares me a little.” It scared me more than a little. “What if… I’ve done bad things, Lucia. I don’t know if I deserve all of this.”
“You’ve done good things too, Salvatore. You deserve all of this and more. We’re making up for lost time, you and I. It’s time for us to be happy and carefree and walk in the sun with sand between our toes. It’s past due, in fact.”
She squeezed my hand, pulled it up to her heart.
“Don’t be scared of losing this. Just be happy and grateful. That’s what I’ve learned. I think that’s what we’re supposed to learn. It’s so simple, but we make it all so complicated.”
“My oracle.”
“I am wiser than you, that’s true.”
“And not at all arrogant.” I heard her smile.
“Good night, husband.”
“Good night, wife.” I kissed her neck and held her as she fell asleep, her body relaxing, her breathing soft and even. I looked up at the night sky, at all the stars, and listened to the sound of the ocean, knowing I held everything that mattered right here in my arms. Knowing she was right about Dominic, that he needed space, that he needed to figure this out for himself. She was also right about the guilt. I was very good at wrapping it over my shoulders, weighing myself down with it. Maybe I needed to learn that some of that didn’t belong to me.
Lucia was wise and strong. I’d given her what I’d promised, a peaceful life, happiness. And while doing so, I had given the same to myself.
I may not be able to save my brother, but maybe it wasn’t up to me to save him.
I squeezed Lucia tighter and closed my eyes, nuzzling my nose in her hair. Life was both crazy and beautiful, and out of the ugliness and hate, we’d made love. I would not forget to cherish that, to cherish her, forever.
The End
