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“I don’t want to.”26NatalieTwo weeks later, I’m back at Franco Benedetti’s house. Already, Sergio’s mom looks worse. Feebler. Even as she tries to smile while pinning a veil to my hair.
“I wore it. My mother wore it. Her mother before her. It’s a family tradition,” Mrs. Benedetti says.
The veil is yellowing and there’s a hint of something ancient that clings to it, a scent. A feel.
“We’ll have a big ceremony in the winter. It’s so pretty here with the snow,” she prattles on, and I don’t know if it’s the thought that she won’t make it to winter or something else that sits like a stone in my belly. But I smile back at her reflection. I refuse to let anything dampen the joy of this day.
“With a huge dress,” I say.
“The biggest.”
The plan is this small wedding today. And once the baby’s born, we’ll have a proper ceremony in a nearby chapel.
“There,” she says, tucking one rebellious lock of hair behind my ear. It’s pinned up with baby’s breath tucked into it beneath the yellowing veil that reaches to the middle of my back. “You look beautiful. Glowing. My son is a lucky man.” She squeezes my shoulder.
“He’s a good man,” I say. I feel like I have to say it. And when I do, her eyes darken a little, worry creeping into them.
She pulls up a chair and sits and takes my hands into hers. “This is a difficult family. A difficult life to marry into. I don’t know that you would have chosen it had you known.”
“I love Sergio.” It’s my only reply because she’s right. I would not have chosen this if I had known. Although, as I think back, did I ever really have a choice? Or were Sergio and I destined to be together? To find each other? Even the way we did. Fate put me in his path not once, but twice. That means something, doesn’t it?
“I won’t be here for very long—”
“Don’t talk like that,” I cut her off, but she squeezes my hand, continues.
“But Sergio will protect you. And so will Franco. You’ll be his son’s wife. The mother of his grandchild. And they’ll need you, too, Natalie. Once I’m gone, they’ll need you, all of them, but especially Sergio.” Her eyes are watering.
“Mrs. Benedetti—”
“I know it’s a lot to ask, but I need to know that he’ll be safe too. That you’ll protect him, too.”
“I will,” I try to reassure, but she continues.
“Whatever you do, whatever happens, don’t let him forget his humanity.” She takes in a deep breath, straightens her spine and looks taller, stronger. “He is his father’s son, Natalie.”
I watch her as she says it. She’s trying to relay a message. She wants me to understand this. And to love him in spite of it.
“I believe he’s good. I do.”
A knock comes on the door and we stand as it opens. But when Sergio peeks his head in, his mother gasps.
“It’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding,” she walks to the door, trying to shield me from Sergio’s view.
Sergio steps inside, smiles at her, then shifts his gaze to me, looking me over from head to toe. “Silly superstition,” he says. He smiles.
I smile back.
“Your dad’s waiting at the bottom of the stairs whenever you’re ready,” he says. “I’ll seat my mom.” He walks her out, then glances back at me. Smiles wider.
When he’s gone, I take one final look at my reflection. I’m wearing a satin sheath. I was aiming for simple, but that wasn’t happening with Sergio. The dress is beautiful, soft against my body while hugging it tenderly. The back is cut seductively low, the neckline at the front straight across my collar bones. My breasts already feel swollen and the dress looks prettier for it. A white cloud of satin floats all around my sandaled feet.
I touch my belly. I’m not showing yet but everyone knows why we’re rushing this ceremony with a bigger one planned for after the baby’s birth. I was fine to wait until after, but Sergio wouldn’t have it. He wanted the baby born to us as husband as wife. Between that and his mom’s health, I didn’t fight it.
Taking one deep breath, I draw the front of the veil down over my face and pick up the bouquet of antique pink roses wrapped in a wide, pale blue ribbon. That’s my something blue. Something old, something borrowed, the veil fulfills those. Something new, my dress.
It will bring us luck. I’ve done it right. All of it. We’ll have good luck, Sergio and I.
I force my eyes from my reflection when they get watery, take a deep breath in and walk out the door and down the stairs where my father waits, still confused at this rushed ceremony, still trying to process the fact that I’m pregnant. And that I’m getting married to a man he’s only just met. Who is next in line to rule the Benedetti mafia family.
