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The two men had spoken at the same time, and they turned to each other as if in challenge. One sized the other’s right to care for Mairi while the other sized the other’s ability to do so. It was clear in both their stances that Mairi only had to say the word and one of them would die fighting for her.
Chapter Four
She said: To wed a Greek billionaire, one must need a bodyguard.
He said: As long as his name isn’t—
She said: Don’t say his name—
He said: Asshole Morrison. There, I didn’t say his name. See how you’ve tamed me so well, sweetheart?
“Her name was Paige.” These were the first words that Drake had written in the letter he had saved in the flash drive, which Mairi guessed he didn’t want Damen to know about.
Both of us joined the Army at the same time. She was a few years younger than I was, and we had different reasons for joining. I had been idealistic then. I wanted to fight for our country. Paige, she wanted to die for it – she said it was better than dying raped in her neighborhood.
We grew…close. We didn’t want this closeness, but it happened.
And I messed up.
I made her think she could depend on me, the way she couldn’t rely on anyone else in her life. But I messed up – we were on a mission when she was injured, and I had to leave her because I needed to bring the people we rescued to a safe place.
That was the last time I saw her.
When I saw your picture, Mairi…you reminded me of her. In so many ways that…it wasn’t right. When I accepted the assignment, I had known right away that it was wrong. That I was the wrong man to look after you and teach you to be strong.
I was the wrong man because I had my own motives.
I saw you as another chance to convince myself that somewhere in this fucked-up world, Paige was still alive. That if I could make someone like you fall for me…that maybe Paige could find it in her heart to love her captor.
But you didn’t.
I did everything I could to make you choose me, but you didn’t. You loved Damen so much that I knew even during that night, it was Damen you were thinking of.
And when you managed to escape the hospital…when I saw the blood on the ground and knew that you didn’t give a shit if you had to die because you wanted to get to Damen so badly—
God help me, Mairi, but a part of me rejoiced in it. I’m sorry that I forced you to do something so drastic, but I don’t want to lie to you anymore. When you did that, I knew that Paige would do the same thing for me.
Even if she has to fuck someone and pretend to love another man, Paige would do anything to survive. You made me believe that she would do everything to stay alive and wait for me until I killed every damn man who dared hurt her.
And now you know the kind of man that I am.
I am no better than Damen Leventis.
I’m a lot worse because I don’t care about how many people would bleed just so I can be with Paige again.
It’s because of you that hope burns inside me again, and it’s the kind of debt I can’t ever hope to repay. Even so, I want you to know – whatever you want me to do for you, Mairi – I will do it.
Mairi’s breath was dragged out of her as she slowly closed the Word file and deleted it, knowing that this kind of letter could never be read by anyone else – not even Damen. It was too raw and personal, the love that Paige and Drake shared something that couldn’t be shared with just anyone else.
For long moments, she remained on her dresser, sobbing in her seat. She cried for Paige, for Drake, for Damen…but most of all, she cried for herself. Love had made her unable to see the forest for the trees, but she did now.
Thanks to Drake’s letter, she knew now that—
She inhaled deeply, but still another racking sob escaped Mairi.
She loved Damen to the point of madness, and she would never be able to stop herself from doing so. She’d never stop loving him unless someone else was there to stop her.
It became clear to her what she had to do then, and Mairi forced herself to move even if her body felt like it had turned into stone. She descended the stairs and was in the hallway when Drake came out of the study, immediately stilling at the sight of her.
“Mairi?”
She opened her mouth to speak, but the words didn’t come out, a part of her afraid to speak because if she did say the words, everything would change. Forever.
Damen came out almost immediately after, and he, too, stilled in shock at the sight of her. The sight of Damen, dressed still in the suit he wore for their wedding, pushed Mairi further to the edge. Oh God, he would always be the most beautiful man in her eyes. The one man she would always love – but shouldn’t.
When Damen asked Mairi what was wrong and Drake spoke at the same time, voicing his concern, Mairi found herself close to being hysterical. Looking at both of them, she only just saw the uncanny similarities between them, both of them tall, dark, and handsome, Drake with his All-American boy-next-door looks and Damen with the refined looks of a classical statue.
It should be so easy for her to replace one with the other, but it wasn’t.
One of them represented the chains that bound her heart, and the other held the key to free her from the self-destructive love she suffered from.
She forced her gaze away from Damen, and her heart broke a little when Damen sucked in his breath audibly at the seeming snub. And because she loved him so much, she was immediately tempted to rush to his side, to throw her arms around him and tell Damen that she would always love him.
But she didn’t.
Be strong, Mairi.
Be strong for those who love you.
Haltingly, she asked Drake, “Do you mean it?”
A frown marred Drake’s forehead at how fragile Mairi appeared right now. Keeping his voice gentle, he asked, “Do I mean what, Mairi?”
“Did you mean what you promised? That you would do anything to make up for what you did to me?”
Ah.
She had read his letter then.
He said simply, “Yes.”
A single tear slipped down her cheek at Drake’s answer. That one word granted Mairi the chance to keep her from losing herself completely in Damen. It also came with the knowledge that she would hurt Damen with it, and that she never wanted to do.
But she had to.
God help her, but she had to.
It was the only way to be strong.
Damen didn’t understand a fucking thing about what Mairi and the other man were talking about. All he knew was what his instincts were telling him, and it was that Mairi was hurting and Drake’s answer had her hurting more.
“Mairi.” He struggled to keep his voice even. “Tell me what’s wrong—”
“I know what I want you to do for me, Drake.”
Damen’s control snapped and he stalked towards Mairi. “Ask me for help, Mairi. Ask me—”
More pieces of her heart broke off at Damen’s words, but she didn’t allow herself to be swayed by it. Keeping her gaze focused on Drake, she whispered, “I want you to be my bodyguard. I want you to live here with us and stick with the job until…the end.”
Shock reverberated in his system at his wife’s words. “A bodyguard?” The rest of her words hit him, and his eyes narrowed. “And what the fuck do you mean with ‘the end’?”
She lied, “Until our troubles with your mother and the Kokinos clan end.”
Something in it didn’t quite ring true, but for once, Mairi’s normally expressive face didn’t give anything away. All Damen could see was the stiff tense way she held her body straight and the strain on her face. He could fight her on this, he knew. He fucking wanted to, the idea of having Drake Morrison too close to Mairi every fucking day enough to have him seething.
But he didn’t.
Because she needed Drake.
It was clear in her eyes there was something she wanted that only the ex-sniper could give. And in the end, what the woman he loved wanted, Damen wanted her to have even if it practically tore his heart in half.
A gasp of surprise escaped Mairi when Damen suddenly hauled her into his arms. When she looked up at him in confusion, Damen responded by kissing her hard. The kiss had Mairi stiffening even more, but Damen didn’t let up, his lips moving aggressively and seductively until with a choked cry, Mairi’s lips parted underneath his.
Damen’s tongue stroked in, and when he deepened the kiss, Mairi found herself forgetting everything. She forgot that Drake was there, forgot that she wasn’t supposed to let herself be swept away by Damen. She forgot that this kiss didn’t mean he loved her. It never did.
As Damen pulled her closer, their bodies molding to each other like they had always been born as two perfect halves, Mairi could have wept at the beauty of it. How perfect his kiss tasted. How beautiful his touch felt. So dear God, why couldn’t he love her the way she loved him?
