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I understood why he was the way he was.
Though, like I told him earlier, it didn't make it okay and he should try to not go so dark, but it was better to know there wasn't true maliciousness there. He was just raised that way and he hadn't been able to break the pattern.
I knew a thing or two about that myself.
And maybe that was the tipping point for me- maybe seeing a bit of my own shortcomings and insecurities within his, in knowing that there were very few people who could ever understand me the way Renny was capable of.
Whatever it was, by the time he stopped speaking, the decision had already been made somewhere deep inside.
It was going to happen with us.
I understood that, by making that choice, I was signing myself up for the good along with the bad. And Renny's bad could be very bad. But if he tried to control it at least a bit, if he didn't go dark over something as silly as me talking to Laz about our pasts, if he could make an effort to not deliberately use my flaws against me, I was okay with taking that chance.
Because, quite frankly, Renny when he was good, was really good. He was sweet and flirty and funny and silly and all the things I wasn't. I found myself almost insanely drawn to those parts of him- the warm he was capable of.
Apparently, he was also sexy as all hell to boot.
Always a plus.
So when the decision was made and I let my guard down most of the way, what I felt was connection and a desire so strong you would swear it was a need.
I didn't fight it.
I was done fighting.
"Oh, baby cakes," he said with a smile that threatened to split his face- open, boyish, contagious, "you're in for a real treat."
My sex tightened in response, already knowing he was going to make good on his promise.
He curled upward, coming chest to chest with me, his hands sliding down my sides until he snagged the tee and slowly slid it up over my skin, so slowly that my skin had a chance to goosebump in response before it finally fell from my wrists and was discarded to the end of the bed.
"Know how many nights I sat up thinking about these," he asked, his hands moving up my belly, touching the sensitive undersides of my breasts, then completely covering them with his palms. "Didn't even do justice to the reality," he went on, his fingers sliding to the sides and stroking his thumbs over the hardened buds.
My hips moved against his, feeling his hardness press against my heat and letting out a hard breath.
"Remind me to send Ashley flowers," he murmured, hands pressing into my sides slightly to anchor me as he bent me backward. "Have a feeling you normally wear goddamn flannel pajamas," he added but took away the insult by sealing his warm mouth over my nipple and sucking hard.
Besides, I couldn't even be mad, I totally did sleep in flannel pajamas.
His lips released me and his teeth snagged me instead, biting in just hard enough to make me let out a low moan before moving across my chest to continue the torment.
Then he was bending me further back until my shoulders hit the mattress, until I unhooked my legs and planted my feet and settled back. His face shifted to the middle of my chest, his tongue moving out and tracing a slow line down the center of my belly, not pausing, not stopping to lavish over anywhere.
Because he had a destination in mind and a point to prove.
His lips sucked my clit inward, making my hips buck upward at the shot of desire. My hand slammed down on the crown of his head, holding him to me as his tongue moved out and started lavishing over the sensitive point.
His hands slid up and under my thighs, grabbing my ass, and hauling me slightly up, giving him more access as he sucked, licked, then thrust his tongue inside me until my thighs were shaking, until my breath was a strangled nothing in my chest, until I felt my walls tightening hard and his tongue moved out and his lips closed around my clit and sucked in quick pulses until I completely shattered apart.
My entire body went taut as my fingers practically ripped out his hair and his name came almost screaming from my lips.
My weight crashed back down on the bed after, my skin feeling like it was humming, my breathing frantic and shallow, as Renny kissed back up my belly, stopping between my breasts where he rested his chin to smile up at me.
"How'd I do? Legendary?"
I did something right then that I didn't think I was truly capable of until that moment. I freaking giggled. Giggled, like a teenaged girl. Even as a teenaged girl, I was pretty sure I never did such a thing.
