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Lucy sighed. “I believe Michelene’s arrival caught Hawk by surprise as much as it did you.”
Pia thinned her lips. “I’m sure it did. I can just imagine what an uncomfortable position Michelene put him in. He suddenly had his current lover and his future wife under the same roof, and they weren’t the same woman!”
Then she belatedly clamped her mouth shut, afraid she’d said too much.
Lucy grimaced. “Hawk has an amazing ability to muck things up, sometimes.”
“Sometimes?” Pia queried, regaining some of her aplomb. “You know the first time I met him he presented himself as plain Mr. James Fielding?”
“So the rumors are true,” Lucy murmured, as if speaking to herself.
Pia had wondered how much Lucy realized or suspected about her relationship with Hawk. Now she had her answer.
Lucy searched Pia’s face, her own reflecting worry. “I’ve never seen Hawk as happy as he is with you. Please take that for what it’s worth.”
There was a part of her that yearned to believe Lucy’s words. She was already a mix of conflicted feelings.
“Do you know he spoke glowingly of you when he suggested I use you as my wedding coordinator?” Lucy went on. “I could see from his face that you weren’t a mere acquaintance. I could tell there was more he wasn’t telling me.”
Pia felt herself flush. “H-he told me he wanted to make amends for the past…”
“And he mucked up the setting-to-right part, too,” Lucy guessed, finishing for her.
Pia nodded. “He didn’t mention Michelene.” She swallowed against the sudden lump in her throat. “But I should have known there’d be someone like her waiting in the wings. There’s an expectation he’ll marry someone suitable to his rank.”
Lucy sighed again. “Well, there’s no getting around the unfortunate fact that Hawk is a duke. However, I’m not sure what Hawk’s feelings are, and it’s possible not even he knows. He probably has never allowed himself to examine them. I sometimes think he’s been on autopilot since William and Father died—on a one-man mission, if you will, to put the dukedom back on sound footing.”
Pia felt her lips pull up in a reluctant smile. “You’re a good advocate for him.”
Lucy nodded. “I’m biased, of course, since Hawk is my brother. But I’d also like to think I’m just returning a favor.” She smiled. “After all, Hawk found me a wonderful wedding coordinator—one I didn’t even know I needed. And now I’m trying to persuade you to forgive him for his mistakes—just a little, and even if it is for the second time.”
Pia chewed her lip.
Lucy gave her another understanding look. “All I’m saying is give him a chance.”
One part of her, Pia knew, desperately wanted to grasp the shred of hope that Lucy was giving her. Lucy had said nothing about Hawk offering love, marriage or forever more, of course. But then again, if Hawk cared…
As her conflicted feelings assailed her, Pia let herself contemplate a heretofore unthinkable possibility.
She knew she loved Hawk.
Could she remain his lover, knowing their relationship could lead nowhere? Could she let go of the fairy-tale ending that she’d always wanted?
“I’m considering keeping my relationship with Hawk…a-at least until he really is engaged to Michelene,” Pia said.
Her statement fell into the conversational void like a wrecking ball crashing through the restaurant’s ceiling. It was why she’d waited awhile to make her statement.
Shocked stillness was followed by commotion inside Contadini, where she, Tamara and Belinda were having one of their Sunday brunches—indoors this time in a nod to the December weather.
“What?”
“What?”
Belinda and Tamara spoke practically in unison as they stared at her from the other side of the table.
Tamara sighed. “Oh, Pia.”
“Have you lost your mind?” Belinda followed up.
