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It was a lot for my system that was used to a certain amount of quiet.
"I like your dress," Becca declared, giving me a warm smile.
"Thanks. Fiona picked it out. I think she's taking it upon herself to completely redo my wardrobe. Too many sweaters and comfy pants, she says."
"She'll back off if you ever get pregnant. She claims she went into a 'frump mode,'" Dusty told me, giving me a warm smile. "Though I have yet to see any evidence to support that. Helen actually has a picture of her with a two-month-old Becca on her hip wearing a wrap dress and five-inch heels."
"Assuming you want kids," Becca was quick to add. "And it's totally fine if you don't. This family spawns like squid, but that's not everyone's path."
"I always wanted kids. Well, at least one. I never really considered beyond that. But I wanted them. It was just never in the cards."
"You're still young enough," Dusty said, shrugging. "Rush would be a great dad. Except, maybe, I wouldn't let him teach a kid to drive," she said, smiling.
""Don't tell Mom, but Uncle Rush was who actually taught me to drive," Becca declared, eyes mischievous. "She and Dad think they taught me it all on the backroads at ten and two with no music on. Uncle Rush took me out in that old car of his, right onto the parkway, with the music thumping. I failed the test twice before him. But then after two lessons with Uncle Rush, I passed."
"You passed what?" Fiona asked, looking over.
"Oh, one of those online quizzes about old 90s TV shows."
"I'm mildly concerned about how well you told that lie," Dusty told her niece, brow raised.
"Is it really a lie when the truth is going to come out eventually?" Becca asked. "No one gets to keep any secrets in this family."
"That's true," Lea said, moving over toward the table, grabbing one of the apples out of the bowl next to Dusty. "If you have any deep, dark secrets, now is the time to air them."
I felt my stomach bottom out at that, thinking of how humiliating it would be if they all learned how I'd been lonely and horny and desperate enough to call Rush's phone sex line."
"I know her secret!" Fee declared, waving a knife with tomato guts on it at me, making that stomach thing even more overwhelming. "She reads smutty little sex books," she said, making a wave of relief course through me.
"Oh, I have some books for you then," Peyton said, beaming.
"Don't trust her," Autumn, her sister, declared. "They're not normal sex books. They're horror-porn sex books."
"That sounded mighty judgy for the owner of a sex store," Peyton shot back.
The food prep went much like that, the women sharing stories, both old and new, occasionally bringing me into the fold, but never in too big of a way, keeping it all very casual.
I was starting to think there would be no issue.
That is until all the food was brought and lined up on the sideboards in the dining room. And the men and kids filed in.
My heartbeat tripped into overdrive as a band of tightness pressed against my throat, making it hard to breathe.
Hugging the walls, I made my way toward the back of the house, opening the door to the back porch, and slipping outside.
"You found my hiding spot," a voice said at my side, making my overwrought body jolt as a yelp escaped me. "Sorry," Dusty said, giving me a smile. "I come out here sometimes," she said, shrugging. "When it gets loud and crazy and I can't take it."
"I'll go find another spot," I told her, feeling bad for interrupting.
"No. No, come sit," she said, kicking out the chair across from her at the table. "It gets better," she told me as I sat down. "After you get used to it. But I won't lie to you and say it all goes away. It doesn't. Obviously," she said, waving a hand at herself. "The initial food line is always the worst for me for some reason."
"Yeah, that's what did me in," I agreed, feeling better that I had someone to talk to about it who wouldn't be offended.
"They're good with it, you know," Dusty went on. "When we go back in, they will act like nothing happened. No scenes to worry about. Or anyone asking if everything is alright. They just go with the flow. I was," she started, letting out a little humorless laugh, "I was a real wreck when I first met Ryan. Completely agoraphobic. Hadn't left my apartment in ages. You can imagine how the Mallick clan terrified me back then. Though, there were fewer of them. There are bound to be a lot of little kids again soon with all the Rivers boys finally settling down. And that can sometimes get bad too, if you're not used to it. I mean, if you end up having kids, you'll get used to that kind of crazy fast enough. I used to be a teacher, but even so, the kids running and squealing was a hard adjustment at first."
